tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46388727339317796972024-03-05T16:41:18.361-05:00NIPPERCAT'S HOMEI share my blog for everyone. For those who also suffer from Abuse/Incest. I hope that by writing my feelings, my poetry on my abuse as a child, will help and encourage you and to let you know that YOU ARE NEVER TO BLAME FOR WHAT
HAPPENED..We were innocent children, the abuser is always at blame.
Please leave me a comment so I know you were here..thank you. look forward to hearing from you.nippercatshomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05642367051111890861noreply@blogger.comBlogger138125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4638872733931779697.post-41727771461689797162023-11-06T07:54:00.002-05:002023-11-06T07:54:35.081-05:00<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLWDaF08AmbozIhkDEh7K53HdVAoBGhWkYEN2jOXzoSIc9WxMviXO9Oi4eDQFBGRKAxPCvQXoxjHH7K-iurOiwF5VZd4SYbJUDZHUqzIHfzM76XAXYlwEJN4cAzfPeiD-cmdyq-SgVgqDBcMO6pA-SVV1VTGa0ndyApjCW6gGJVQbNmqhX3K08y-pPAA/s2340/Screenshot_20231010_155431_Facebook.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2340" data-original-width="1080" height="456" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLWDaF08AmbozIhkDEh7K53HdVAoBGhWkYEN2jOXzoSIc9WxMviXO9Oi4eDQFBGRKAxPCvQXoxjHH7K-iurOiwF5VZd4SYbJUDZHUqzIHfzM76XAXYlwEJN4cAzfPeiD-cmdyq-SgVgqDBcMO6pA-SVV1VTGa0ndyApjCW6gGJVQbNmqhX3K08y-pPAA/w211-h456/Screenshot_20231010_155431_Facebook.jpg" width="211" /></a></div><br /> <p></p>nippercatshomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05642367051111890861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4638872733931779697.post-49431357357097715602023-08-08T21:16:00.000-04:002023-08-08T21:16:30.720-04:00<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghD1wVfMCXjj7Xn6zvit5p3Bw-H02Os87URbkUlN659FIIyXukUozmRVk5bXzYnKBA56DyyblV0AyxKBycoLBc5l_0zYnzaHLs4LX-yvY3yLq3h5eYtbjO9uXdadyrNBfetnLnR75dvclNIO8AFVTJGYsKDDfRJTrUtwdF536eqW8VMRYnqg6Kc4DtnQ/s2340/Screenshot_20230702_150951_Facebook.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2340" data-original-width="1080" height="405" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghD1wVfMCXjj7Xn6zvit5p3Bw-H02Os87URbkUlN659FIIyXukUozmRVk5bXzYnKBA56DyyblV0AyxKBycoLBc5l_0zYnzaHLs4LX-yvY3yLq3h5eYtbjO9uXdadyrNBfetnLnR75dvclNIO8AFVTJGYsKDDfRJTrUtwdF536eqW8VMRYnqg6Kc4DtnQ/w306-h405/Screenshot_20230702_150951_Facebook.jpg" width="306" /></a></div><br /><p></p>nippercatshomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05642367051111890861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4638872733931779697.post-67330151367867438382018-08-30T23:13:00.000-04:002018-08-30T23:13:15.144-04:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Never allow anyone to take away your individuality. Be proud of who you are. Never hide the real you. You are unique, you are yourself for a reason. Love that about yourself.<br /></div>
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<br />nippercatshomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05642367051111890861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4638872733931779697.post-91134277759496566142016-12-01T15:01:00.002-05:002016-12-01T15:01:14.934-05:00SOAR WITH POSITIVITY<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1Nub-SpC4IEpDBYk213fBnCMefsRk71oXTTz1QVNu9Ky_to-RBBYfhe6XMMsrBHhgE9pfdfwVrJ6jtL8ViaWqV-vPDOzIzi1MJaAVPNI2AOdAFJiRG8wKab8lwflS-q2PCClkoeFdbTk/s1600/pizap.com14806190448821.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1Nub-SpC4IEpDBYk213fBnCMefsRk71oXTTz1QVNu9Ky_to-RBBYfhe6XMMsrBHhgE9pfdfwVrJ6jtL8ViaWqV-vPDOzIzi1MJaAVPNI2AOdAFJiRG8wKab8lwflS-q2PCClkoeFdbTk/s320/pizap.com14806190448821.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">How often do we feel negatives more than positives within our lives? Too often!!! I can honestly say for myself that l was always negative. Never thinking I could achieve what I wanted to do. So many years past by, stuck, feeling down. Changes can happen. Through much therapy, help with my depression, I learned how to be more positive in my life decisions. </span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">We can only do this..no one can make us change, they CAN give us the tools to help us achieve what we want out of life, but it is up to each of us to really want it. The past is the past, don’t look back, look forward. Look at what you can do, what you want to do.The years fly by, and if you stay stuck in the negative, you will never know what you can and can’t do. Don’t let others keep you down. Believe in yourself, you CAN do anything you set your mind to. Believe in the power of POSITIVITY!!! mg..©2016</span></div>
nippercatshomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05642367051111890861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4638872733931779697.post-11993066729285767062016-06-21T21:47:00.001-04:002016-06-21T21:47:47.572-04:00<div class="clearfix" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "helvetica neue", helvetica, arial, "lucida grande", tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 16px; zoom: 1;">
<h2 class="_5clb" style="font-size: 24px; line-height: 28px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
Nightmares</h2>
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By <a data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=764945231" href="https://www.facebook.com/nippercat" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">Mary E Graziano</a> on Saturday, December 15, 2012 at 6:15pm<span class="timelineUnitContainer" style="position: relative;"></span></div>
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<strong><em>NIGHTMARES</em></strong><br />
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<strong><em>As survivors of childhood abuse, we often think that we are now free from our nightmares. How so very wrong this is. WE can go along for a long time and think that we are "nightmare free", then all of a sudden, we go to bed, fall asleep and it starts all over again. It feels so wrong, so crippling. We are caught by the demons of the night. Abusing us all over again, we can't struggle to free ourselves, we are in it for the duration of the horrible nightmare, we can't escape, the demons have won.</em></strong><br />
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<strong><em> These nightmares are so very real, grabbing hold of our very being our very soul, reliving the past, the abuser again sabotaged our lives. When we awake, we are frightened, we are feeling trapped again crying out for help, to be rid of the demons that destroyed us once before and are now trying to destroy us again,</em></strong><br />
<strong><em>little by little, piece by piece.</em></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><em> I had these nightmares two nights in a row. Last night I chose to stay awake because I was afraid of the consequences of what might happen. I didn't want to face the demons of the night again and couldn't let them win again. </em></strong><br />
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<strong><em> Why do we let them control us? Even in our sleep? We need to take a deep look inside ourselves, and help ourselves to realize that "it's just a nightmare, it can't hurt us." Oh how many times I have said that to a victim and survivor. We can't let the demons control our lives day in and day out.</em></strong><br />
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<strong><em> Looking deep into myself, I need to tell myself I am not that little girl any more, he can't control me now. That little girl is all grown up. Tell my inner child that we are now one, that together we are stronger than the demons, that we have the say as to who controls our body, our mind. It is up to us. By doing this we can become strong, we will see that the demons can't hurt us any more. I was devastated that I had these nightmares. I didn't think as a survivor that I would have these nightmares again and again, that they were gone never to return. </em></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><em> Even as a survivor we are still healing, still climbing to the top of that mountain. We will struggle with different aspects of our abuse, but we have the control now, not the demons that try and overtake our nights. I realize now how wrong I was, to put myself down, that I wasn't strong enough to face these nightmares, but I am strong enough, I have the control, just didn't see it. At the time my inner self and I are one. Together we can stand tall, we have the control.</em></strong><br />
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<strong><em>written by Mary Graziano</em></strong><br />
<strong><em>Sept. 2012</em></strong></div>
nippercatshomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05642367051111890861noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4638872733931779697.post-90095917500533709042016-06-07T22:48:00.000-04:002016-06-07T22:48:18.571-04:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOhhgGD6W6i8_HCxqvhnwuwPXit7M2w1XaJBBJJUg8m8BrvLD1a1HBEAt3pTr0KNOJNYkUoXQ5e240DwrDhQdKaCrFZwE4UdpjkOzobzhgJ4zKtnDPapGJpwe2e_mt57vsUlqL0CP9C6k/s1600/broken-mirror.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOhhgGD6W6i8_HCxqvhnwuwPXit7M2w1XaJBBJJUg8m8BrvLD1a1HBEAt3pTr0KNOJNYkUoXQ5e240DwrDhQdKaCrFZwE4UdpjkOzobzhgJ4zKtnDPapGJpwe2e_mt57vsUlqL0CP9C6k/s320/broken-mirror.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: 'Archivo Narrow'; font-size: 21.8182px; line-height: 30.1091px;">I wrote this when I was in the first stages of my healing journey many years ago on my here on my blog</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: 'Archivo Narrow'; font-size: 21.8182px; line-height: 30.1091px;"> but I am now healed, and post this for those in their healing journey in hopes it helps them. </span><i class="_lew" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: 'Archivo Narrow'; font-size: 21.8182px; line-height: 30.1091px;" title="heart emoticon"><i aria-hidden="true" class="_4-k1 img sp_fM-mz8spZ1b sx_62a652" style="background-image: url("/rsrc.php/v2/yx/r/pimRBh7B6ER.png"); background-position: 0px -204px; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-size: auto; display: inline-block; height: 16px; vertical-align: -3px; width: 16px;"></i><span aria-hidden="true" class="_4mcd" style="font-size: 0px;"><3 span=""></3></span></i></div>
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<span style="color: #333399;"><span style="font-family: skolar-web, skolar-web-1, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div class="western">
<span style="color: #333399;"><span style="font-family: skolar-web, skolar-web-1, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The
Mirror</span></span></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" class="western" style="line-height: 0.28in; orphans: 1;">
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: skolar-web, skolar-web-1, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="color: #333399;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" class="western" style="line-height: 0.28in; orphans: 1;">
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: skolar-web, skolar-web-1, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="color: #333399;">The
mirror is my enemy
</span>w<span style="color: #333399;">hen
I look inside I see,</span><br />a <span style="color: #333399;">little girl
who is so lost<br />tears well up in me.<br />She looks so frightened, so
very sad,<br />I can’t reach out or touch.<br />It’s just too hard to
look at her,<br />the memories are just too much!!<br />I know she needs
my guidance,<br />she reminds me of all my fears.<br />Hate I see, inside
her eyes<br />she sheds so many tears!!<br />I walk away. I leave
her,<br />can’t bear to see her cry.<br />I try so hard to block it
out,<br />There's just too many tears to dry.<br />As I turn, I look back
into the mirror<br />my adult self I see.<br />So many thoughts
remembered,<br />Oh, how they envelop me!!<br />If I could smash that
mirror,<br />that little girl, would disappear.<br />But then she would
be trapped inside. </span></span></span></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" class="western" style="line-height: 0.28in; orphans: 1;">
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: skolar-web, skolar-web-1, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="color: #333399;">Lost for eternity. </span></span></span></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" class="western" style="line-height: 0.28in; orphans: 1;">
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: skolar-web, skolar-web-1, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="color: #333399;"> I turn around to look at her </span></span></span></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" class="western" style="line-height: 0.28in; orphans: 1;">
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: skolar-web, skolar-web-1, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="color: #333399;"> my little self how sadness
prevails, </span></span></span></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" class="western" style="line-height: 0.28in; orphans: 1;">
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: skolar-web, skolar-web-1, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="color: #333399;"> I can't leave
her fears locked up inside.</span></span></span></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" class="western" style="line-height: 0.28in; orphans: 1;">
<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="font-family: skolar-web, skolar-web-1, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="color: #333399;"> Can't bear it, she
looks so frail!!</span></span></span></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" class="western" style="line-height: 0.28in; orphans: 1;">
<span style="color: #333399;"><span style="font-family: skolar-web, skolar-web-1, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div align="LEFT" class="western" style="line-height: 0.28in; orphans: 1;">
<span style="color: #333399;"><span style="font-family: skolar-web, skolar-web-1, serif;"><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Prose
by Mary Graziano©
Revised June 7, 2016</span></span></span></div>
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nippercatshomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05642367051111890861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4638872733931779697.post-38103702094576243352016-04-04T14:11:00.001-04:002016-04-04T14:11:26.852-04:00YOU CAN BECOME A SURVIVOR<header class="entry-header" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #444444; font-family: skolar-web, skolar-web-1, serif; font-size: 20px; line-height: 28px;"><h1 class="entry-title" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #283d4b; font-family: fertigo-pro-script, fertigo-pro-script-1, cursive; font-size: 2.6em; font-weight: 400; margin: 0px 0px 0.67em;">
YOU CAN BECOME A SURVIVOR!!</h1>
<div class="entry-meta" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: source-sans-pro-1, source-sans-pro-2, 'Open Sans', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; margin: 0px 0px 30px;">
<span class="posted-on" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-right: 10px;"><a href="https://naasca.wordpress.com/2016/04/04/you-can-become-a-survivor/" rel="bookmark" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #3516d4; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.3s ease-in-out;"><time class="entry-date published" datetime="2016-04-04T10:21:57+00:00" style="box-sizing: border-box;">April 4, 2016</time></a></span> <span class="byline" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: inline; margin-right: 10px;"><span class="author vcard" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><a class="url fn n" href="https://naasca.wordpress.com/author/nippercat/" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #3516d4; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.3s ease-in-out;">Mary</a></span></span> <span class="entry-categories" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-right: 10px;"><a href="https://naasca.wordpress.com/category/encouragement-for-survivors-of-abuse/" rel="category tag" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #3516d4; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.3s ease-in-out;">Encouragement for Survivors of Abuse</a>, <a href="https://naasca.wordpress.com/category/uncategorized/" rel="category tag" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #3516d4; text-decoration: none; transition: all 0.3s ease-in-out;">Uncategorized</a></span></div>
</header><div class="entry-content" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #444444; font-family: skolar-web, skolar-web-1, serif; font-size: 20px; line-height: 28px; margin: 0px 0px 30px;">
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<br /></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;"> Many of us have come a long way in our healing journey. It has been a difficult rough road, with many twists and turns. We persevered. Pushed through the debris, per say. Had many setbacks along the way. In the beginning, we never thought we could make it. Thought of giving up. Why? Because if was easier to give up than pursue what was waiting for us at the end of the rainbow. We cried, were depressed. So many things filled our heads. Questioning our own inner self. Self doubts, hating who we were. Telling ourselves we deserved what happened. </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;"> We must have asked for it or was a horrible child. Feeling worthless inside ourselves. We held our secret in a vault deep inside our being. So no-one would ever find out our “dark secret.” Maybe your abuser told you if you told he would hurt you even worse. He/she would kill everyone in the family. By saying that, he/she knew you would keep the secret. As a small child, you were scared, so scared. You kept quiet.</span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">A small child. We were. Alone. No-one to turn to. Feeling dirty. </span> <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Ashamed. This very secret burning in the bit of our stomach. Everyday, we were left wondering when he/she would strike again. When the hitting would start!! When the sexual abuse would begin, hurting us so badly. Not understanding what was happening. So many nights our pillows stained. Tears spewing down our faces. Knowing any moment that door would slowly open, the haunting figure of a monster would stand in the doorway. For me, that was my fear. I would pretend to sleep, covers pulled up close to me, hanging on to them for dear life. Did that stop him? No, he was strong, large hands, pulling the sheets down, reaching for me……So many of us have faced the same thing. </span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">We were not bad. We were children. Innocent. Wishing our lives were different. To be happy, well adjusted. That was not our destiny. For some reason, we had to live through a life of horror. Our world belonged to our abuser. Not able to fight back. We dissociated, thinking of a happy place, where we were free, laughing, playing, Parents who loved us unconditionally. </span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top: 1em;">
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">We were crushed. Beyond hope. For those who believe. Praying to Our Creator. To release us from the bonds of abuse. I know I prayed many times. Never heard from God. As I got older I lost my faith and believed I must have deserved it, that our Creator abandoned me. </span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-top: 1em;">
<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;"> As we grew into adults, we led our lives. Some may have taken the low road, drinking, becoming promiscuous, taking drugs etc. Others, like myself held it deep inside. Letting it fester like a volcano ready to explode at any time..And it did. I finally had to let it out. That was the beginning of my healing. I realized, I wasn’t a bad person. I never deserved it, none of it from either parent. The sexual abuse was not my fault. I am a good person. These are the words that help us heal. Our abuser has no control over us any longer. We can say NO to abuse!!! Therapy a God send. You need to find a therapist that is right for you. It may take many attempts to finding the one who understands what you have/are going through. Never give up, keep searching. Interview them. There is one out there just right for you. There are many different types of therapy. The 12 Step Program, has helped so many survivors. I wish I had known about that 20 years ago, but…..</span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;"> I was lucky to have a wonderful therapist named Cheryl, who understood all I went through. I was with her for 17 years. The day I went in for my appointment, she said to me, “I don’t think you need my help anymore. By what you tell me and what I read on your blog, you have finally gotten your wings. You are helping others.” I had shown Cheryl my blog, where I first started writing about my abuse with poetry. Little did I even think that my poetry would help others in their own healing. It was deep dark poetry about what I went through at that time in my life. Now I write inspirational posts, to let others know they need to be more positive. Cheryl shares my blog with her clients, for them to read and know that they are not alone.</span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;"> Having a support system is something that will get you through. Either your spouse, or a close friend. Someone you can trust. When I finally told my husband, he stood beside me all the way, never once doubting what I said to him. He didn’t want the details. He believed me one hundred percent. Never doubting. </span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;"> As you go through your recovery from abuse, have a mindset of positives. Leave the negatives behind. Know that there is a rainbow out there waiting for you to reach it. It takes time, but it will happen. Tell your inner child that she/he is loved. Is safe. Play with your inner child. Colour with them. Read stories to them. Do things that you as a child were never able to do. Your inner child will begin to trust you, will realize that they an come out from the deep abyss. Not needing to hide away any longer. The monster who destroyed their self esteem/your self esteem is not longer able to hold you prisoner in his/her lies and deceits. </span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;"> So many sexual abuse survivors have shared so many similarities. Know that you are not alone. We share a lot of the same thoughts and feelings. That’s why it’s so important to change your mindset, be more positive as you take your healing steps. You are worth it!!!Don’t ever let anyone make you doubt that. One thing that I realized just within the past few years is that our Creator never left me. He was always there, I just never heard him. I chose to ignore. Creator loves us, and would never abandon us even in our darkest times. There is a reason for everything, even the worst of what we went through. I think for me going through what I did, brought me to where I am today. Helping others with my writing. Inspiring others with positives, uplifting them to believing they too can move forward, leave the past behind. Our past is just that the past. We don’t live there any more. </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">BELIEVE. HOPE. DREAM</span></div>
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<img alt="1913953_10156466295235232_576904112352906848_n" class="alignnone wp-image-1582" height="198" originalh="198" originalw="263" scale="1.5" src-orig="https://naasca.files.wordpress.com/2016/04/1913953_10156466295235232_576904112352906848_n.jpg?w=263&h=198" src="https://naasca.files.wordpress.com/2016/04/1913953_10156466295235232_576904112352906848_n.jpg?w=395&h=198" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; height: auto; max-width: 100%; vertical-align: middle;" width="263" /><img alt="12376401_10156484981100232_3480408438332911059_n.jpg" class="alignnone wp-image-1583" height="200" originalh="200" originalw="266" scale="1.5" src-orig="https://naasca.files.wordpress.com/2016/04/12376401_10156484981100232_3480408438332911059_n.jpg?w=266&h=200" src="https://naasca.files.wordpress.com/2016/04/12376401_10156484981100232_3480408438332911059_n.jpg?w=399&h=300" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; height: auto; max-width: 100%; vertical-align: middle;" width="266" /></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">BELIEVE</span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Believe in HOPE. </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Hope is courage. </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Giving you will. </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">To fight the depths. </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Of your inner self. </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Freeing your mind. </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Of any negativity. </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Slowly creeping in. </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Believe in DREAMS. </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Dreams take you. </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">To another place. </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Brings hope. </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">For a better tomorrow. </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Reach for your dreams. </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">It’s possible. </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">To accomplish whatever. </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">You set your mind to. </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Never give up. </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Simply. </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">BELIEVE!!!</span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Prose/watercolour by </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Mary Graziano </span><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">Copyrighted April 4, 2016</span></div>
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nippercatshomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05642367051111890861noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4638872733931779697.post-79511362690578030612016-01-20T19:57:00.003-05:002016-01-20T19:57:41.856-05:00A Broken Child!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOOh5ZZlH7HrMnbmdyRorjMQq5KZ_CvMSUs5GhnUMcxb7CwWc8taw8pQitad2x-_0n_B_C8CsWb9sliNuF_KrlMXKIsQCTRe_MbPlp1bCkOw7NDqT48b11KEH63B0mpXX2X4sjgUEOg8I/s1600/pizap-com14479867112821.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOOh5ZZlH7HrMnbmdyRorjMQq5KZ_CvMSUs5GhnUMcxb7CwWc8taw8pQitad2x-_0n_B_C8CsWb9sliNuF_KrlMXKIsQCTRe_MbPlp1bCkOw7NDqT48b11KEH63B0mpXX2X4sjgUEOg8I/s640/pizap-com14479867112821.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />nippercatshomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05642367051111890861noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4638872733931779697.post-55651043014617309772015-11-24T22:08:00.002-05:002016-04-04T14:18:05.969-04:00ONE SMALL CHILD<div class="clearfix _5x46" style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 12.864px; margin-bottom: 11px; zoom: 1;">
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Mary Graziano<span style="color: #9197a3; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.38;">shared</span><a aria-describedby="js_37" aria-haspopup="true" aria-owns="js_36" class="profileLink" data-ft="{"tn":"k"}" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/page.php?id=117458935043829" href="https://www.facebook.com/michalmadisonart/" id="js_38" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">Michal Madison Art</a><span style="color: #9197a3; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.38;">'s </span><a class="profileLink" data-ft="{"tn":"E"}" href="https://www.facebook.com/michalmadisonart/photos/a.293985350724519.65788.117458935043829/693945714061812/?type=3" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">photo</a><span style="color: #9197a3; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.38;">.</span></div>
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Published by <a class="uiLinkSubtle" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/hovercard.php?id=764945231&type=page_admin&extragetparams=%7B%22directed_target_id%22%3A228328410604248%7D" href="https://www.facebook.com/nippercat" style="color: #9197a3; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">Mary E Graziano</a><a aria-label="Only people who manage this Page can see who published" class="mls uiHelpLink" data-hover="tooltip" data-tooltip-alignh="center" href="https://www.facebook.com/AbuseSurvivorsAndVictimsUnited/#" role="button" style="background-image: url(https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/rsrc.php/v2/yU/r/QbPYllK0QVi.png); background-position: -104px -430px; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-size: 500px 446px; color: #627aad; cursor: pointer; display: inline-block; height: 11px; margin-left: 5px; position: relative; text-decoration: none; top: 1px; width: 12px;"></a><span aria-hidden="true" role="presentation"> · </span><span class="fsm fwn fcg"><a class="_5pcq" href="https://www.facebook.com/AbuseSurvivorsAndVictimsUnited/posts/660824607354624" style="color: #9197a3; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;" target="">November 20 at 9:00pm</a></span><span aria-hidden="true" role="presentation"> · </span><a aria-label="Public" class="uiStreamPrivacy inlineBlock fbStreamPrivacy fbPrivacyAudienceIndicator _5pcq" data-hover="tooltip" href="https://www.facebook.com/AbuseSurvivorsAndVictimsUnited/#" role="button" style="color: #9197a3; cursor: pointer; display: inline-block; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: middle; zoom: 1;"><i class="lock img sp_YdyCVVPek3d sx_1040cf" style="background-image: url(https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/rsrc.php/v2/yK/r/scDWSnQOPDn.png); background-position: -14px -26px; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-size: 64px 170px; bottom: -1px; display: inline-block; height: 12px; margin-bottom: -5px; position: relative; vertical-align: top; width: 12px;"></i></a></div>
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ONE SMALL CHILD</div>
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Important I am.<br />
In this sweet child’s life.<br />
Watching her grow. <span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><br />Moving forward.<br />Absorbing positives.<br />Flowing her way.<br />Encouraging words.<br />Helping to mold her life.<br />To expand horizons.<br />Build confidence.<br />Unleashing potential.<br />To help growth.<br />Letting her know.<br />Her life has meaning.<br />Purpose. To follow.<br />Every dream imaginable.<br />Able am I.<br />To share such joy.<br />When that one day.<br />Truly comes.<br />A child thrives.<br />By profound influences.<br />Given them.<br />No put downs.<br />No judgement.<br />Only kindness.<br />Encouragement.<br />Helping to wipe a tear.<br />To be assuring.<br />Loving. Caring. Proud.<br />My heart warms.<br />Seeing her<br />Eyes of emerald green.<br />Emanate with Love.<br />Trust. Faith.<br />My actions.<br />My words.<br />Important.<br />In the eyes.<br />Of one.<br />Small child.</span></div>
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Prose by Mary Graziano©2015<br />
Revised November 20, 2015</div>
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Beautiful watercolour painting<br />
Title “One Small Child”<br />
By my wonderful, artistic friend<br />
Michal Madison©2015<br />
<a href="http://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.MichalMadisonArt.com%2F&h=QAQGayxK0AQGSi19wxZvskCDxnjwGc2KWOeoD6Kc0__3c-Q&enc=AZMH8xeal3l1bVsLv4rQ0vZjY9J1zlBKnHv4HBZLx33Nk0cSDnOT5wYmHhHKrigGW8qRTNmksIraZc7zpima7jVQjiuhrlgiZtqF3GYBwZb9vXcZ5z4Ho2BXfDd0x8WPig1GRAO9QJeYPAi4aLZnZPfeLX3ygvOnfoGRQA6QO1ZVZ8iAq2kU8eBe-h76TZO52pmFTH4d6gvtBWQCSabVkwOr&s=1" rel="nofollow" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">www.MichalMadisonArt.com</a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNffXAMMkjg2X0XaXsThDtg-hS8aSG850ijm5vbYXrbiW9haGnx09YVIPijdINwb70hB5H8fDVZOKixXQ4dC9FLT0bQ6z678ihK3vg5__cwumdR4jKOHPWJ9cz3Ks0z8Jy_CfhLqUqJ8s/s1600/10685424_693945714061812_1825598783832061022_n+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNffXAMMkjg2X0XaXsThDtg-hS8aSG850ijm5vbYXrbiW9haGnx09YVIPijdINwb70hB5H8fDVZOKixXQ4dC9FLT0bQ6z678ihK3vg5__cwumdR4jKOHPWJ9cz3Ks0z8Jy_CfhLqUqJ8s/s400/10685424_693945714061812_1825598783832061022_n+%25281%2529.jpg" width="328" /></a><a ajaxify="/michalmadisonart/photos/a.293985350724519.65788.117458935043829/693945714061812/?type=3&src=https%3A%2F%2Fscontent-yyz1-1.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-xfa1%2Fv%2Ft1.0-9%2F10685424_693945714061812_1825598783832061022_n.jpg%3Foh%3D8606494ab8885b089a04b3db61399e38%26oe%3D56E9183A&size=790%2C960&fbid=693945714061812&player_origin=pages" class="_4-eo" href="https://www.facebook.com/michalmadisonart/photos/a.293985350724519.65788.117458935043829/693945714061812/?type=3" rel="theater" style="box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0470588) 0px 1px 1px; color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; display: block; position: relative; text-decoration: none; width: 323px;"></a><br />
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/michalmadisonart/photos/a.293985350724519.65788.117458935043829/693945714061812/?type=3&fref=nf" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.864px; text-decoration: none;">Michal Madison Art</a><span class="fsm fwn fcg" style="color: #9197a3; line-height: 12.864px;"><a ajaxify="/michalmadisonart/photos/a.293985350724519.65788.117458935043829/693945714061812/?type=3&src=https%3A%2F%2Fscontent-yyz1-1.xx.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-xfa1%2Fv%2Ft1.0-9%2F10685424_693945714061812_1825598783832061022_n.jpg%3Foh%3D8606494ab8885b089a04b3db61399e38%26oe%3D56E9183A&size=790%2C960&fbid=693945714061812&source=12&player_origin=pages" class="_5pcq" href="https://www.facebook.com/michalmadisonart/photos/a.293985350724519.65788.117458935043829/693945714061812/?type=3" rel="theater" style="color: #9197a3; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;" target="">April 29</a></span><span aria-hidden="true" role="presentation" style="color: #9197a3; line-height: 12.864px;"> · </span><a ajaxify="/ajax/edits/browser/post/?content_token=693945714061812" aria-label="Show edit history" class="uiLinkSubtle" data-ft="{"tn":"+E"}" data-hover="tooltip" href="https://www.facebook.com/AbuseSurvivorsAndVictimsUnited/#" rel="dialog" role="button" style="color: #9197a3; cursor: pointer; line-height: 12.864px; text-decoration: none;">Edited</a><span aria-hidden="true" role="presentation" style="color: #9197a3; line-height: 12.864px;"> · </span><a aria-label="Public" class="uiStreamPrivacy inlineBlock fbStreamPrivacy fbPrivacyAudienceIndicator _5pcq" data-hover="tooltip" href="https://www.facebook.com/AbuseSurvivorsAndVictimsUnited/#" role="button" style="color: #9197a3; cursor: pointer; display: inline-block; line-height: 12.864px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: middle; zoom: 1;"><i class="lock img sp_YdyCVVPek3d sx_1040cf" style="background-image: url(https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/rsrc.php/v2/yK/r/scDWSnQOPDn.png); background-position: -14px -26px; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-size: 64px 170px; bottom: -1px; display: inline-block; height: 12px; margin-bottom: -5px; position: relative; vertical-align: top; width: 12px;"></i></a><span style="color: #666666; line-height: 12.864px;">"A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove... but the world may be differen</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="color: #666666; display: inline; line-height: 12.864px;">t because I was important in the life of a child."</span></div>
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<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">Forest E. Witcraft</span></div>
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"One Small Child"<br />
watercolor by Michal Madison ©2015<br />
<a href="http://www.michalmadisonart.com/" rel="nofollow" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">www.MichalMadisonArt.com</a><br />
Thank you for sharing!~mm</div>
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nippercatshomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05642367051111890861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4638872733931779697.post-32976787019657485692015-10-27T20:51:00.001-04:002015-10-27T20:51:54.703-04:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />nippercatshomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05642367051111890861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4638872733931779697.post-52624356541533550622015-10-27T20:50:00.003-04:002015-10-27T20:50:26.186-04:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />nippercatshomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05642367051111890861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4638872733931779697.post-51154642337178992782015-07-19T23:29:00.002-04:002015-10-03T18:05:55.018-04:00LIFE IS LIKE A ROLLER COASTER<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />nippercatshomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05642367051111890861noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4638872733931779697.post-29931356688996577862015-07-19T22:54:00.000-04:002015-07-19T22:54:50.241-04:00<br />
<b>Forgiveness: Do you really have to forgive? It's an individual choice</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Tuesday of this week I was dropping my daughter and her family off at the "Go Station." On the way back I had to pass by the cemetery where my mother is buried at her mother and father's grave site. I haven't been there for a long time and wasn't planning on making a stop. As I was approaching the cemetery, I heard a voice inside me saying "Go in." I thought no, I don't want to go in, and was going to keep going. Again, I heard "Go in." With a deep sigh, I thought "fine" and drove into the cemetery. I couldn't find the plot the first time, and thought "oh well" and was going to drive out and go home. Well that wasn't happening. Again I heard a voice say, "turn around" I turned my car around and drove down the road, and there was the plot. I sat in my car for a while, thinking, and looking at the headstone on my Grandma's grave. I thought, "well I'll go talk to my grandma, she always makes me feel good." </b><br />
<b>My grandma loved me and I love her so much and still miss her to this day. She has been gone now about 40 years. She was the one who always hugged me, would tell me she loved me. Really cared. How I wished I heard those words from my mother.</b><br />
<b>I started clearing away the weeds which weren't too bad, and talking to my grandma, telling her how much I missed her and would be back to clean the angel on her headstone. I went to my mother's marker cleared away some of the dirt that hid the cross and said to her, "if only you knew what dad and your cousin did to me. Why couldn't you ever tell me you loved me? Why did you only yell, hit, curse at me. I didn't do anything bad to you but you chose not to show your good feelings to me." I started to cry, and at that moment forgave my mother for all the things she did to me and didn't do for me. It even shocked me to say out loud the words, "Mom I forgive you." I had never wanted to forgive her. I was able to move forward in my healing journey, became a survivor/thriver, and lived my life my way with the support of my husband and family. Forgiving was never in the equation.</b><br />
<b>When I returned to the car, I sat and thought, "Our Creator wanted me to come in here, his voice was the voice I heard. It may sound crazy, but I truly believe this to be the case. I had no desire to go into the cemetery that day, but our Creator had other plans for me. I never felt any incredible joy or feel a weight lifted, by forgiving her, but in a sense I feel that by forgiving my heart feels compassion for her. Something I never felt before. </b><br />
<b>God does work in ways we may not understand at times. Now whether I forgive my dad and mother's cousin, I don't know. If it is to be then it will happen otherwise, I can move forward, help others by writing my blog posts, writing my prose, hoping someone will feel better and understand themselves a little ore by what I write and that they can move forward and can heal from abuse. </b><br />
<b>Mary Graziano </b><br />
<b>copyrighted 2015</b><br />
<b><br /></b>nippercatshomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05642367051111890861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4638872733931779697.post-72234995699969728342015-04-25T21:02:00.001-04:002015-04-25T21:02:32.605-04:00Global Pop Up Art Project 3<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/0nuhYDJi76c" width="480"></iframe>nippercatshomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05642367051111890861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4638872733931779697.post-55347924544112635832015-04-25T16:52:00.001-04:002015-04-25T16:52:25.715-04:00To Judge a Person<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />nippercatshomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05642367051111890861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4638872733931779697.post-20540542939277228282015-02-26T19:32:00.001-05:002015-10-03T18:06:21.085-04:00FIND YOUR COURAGE<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />nippercatshomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05642367051111890861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4638872733931779697.post-15172388355789004282015-02-26T19:30:00.001-05:002015-10-03T18:07:02.927-04:00THE COURAGE TO SAY "I CAN"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />nippercatshomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05642367051111890861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4638872733931779697.post-43667411559293870742015-02-26T19:28:00.001-05:002015-02-26T19:29:36.060-05:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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FIND THE STRENGTHnippercatshomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05642367051111890861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4638872733931779697.post-50894577795442793742014-10-01T00:45:00.000-04:002015-10-03T20:17:30.970-04:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Mary Graziano shared Michal Madison Art<br />
<br />
JOY UNTOUCHED BY CIRCUMSTANCES<br />
<br />
Her spirit so captivating, drawing you in<br />
with her brown/blackish eyes<br />
cheeks that glow ~ beaming with so much<br />
love, hope, warming the hearts<br />
of many she meets<br />
a life so simple, yet perfect to her<br />
knowing what she feels inside herself<br />
is what really matters ~ tattered clothes<br />
~ unimportant<br />
a smile glowing with contentment, unaware<br />
how others feel ~ that her life has so many<br />
hardships, nothing to show; joy should<br />
not be an option<br />
her optimism can be felt, even under<br />
the hardest circumstances, pulling at your<br />
heart ~ your soul<br />
she feels elation no matter what<br />
spills into her life, to her, joy prevails<br />
over any misfortunes, her ability<br />
to be happy ~ her choice,<br />
it’s up to her<br />
to create a life<br />
where ~<br />
“her simple joy untouched by circumstances”<br />
<br />
Poetry by Mary Graziano ©<br />
"Joy Untouched by Circumstances"<br />
watercolor painting by Michal Madison<br />
©2014 www.MichalMadisonArt.com<br />
Vulnerable Expressions of Raw Emotionnippercatshomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05642367051111890861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4638872733931779697.post-69887279913033299222014-09-09T19:54:00.001-04:002015-10-03T18:27:56.910-04:00<br />
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<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">THROWING PAINT</span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Life is a great big canvas.</span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Throw all your insecurities. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Fears. Hurts.</span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Allowing all to spill out. </span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Splashing that canvas.</span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">With your life’s puzzle pieces.</span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Life is a book. </span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Each chapter revealing more. </span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Of who you are.</span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Unlock all your self-doubts. </span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Release them. Don’t be afraid. </span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Never ever. Hold back.<br />
Let all your negatives. </span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Fill the canvas.<br />
Each erasing the other.<br />
One by one. </span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The puzzle pieces of your life. </span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Will begin to fit.<br />
Joy. Hope. Courage. </span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Begin to flow.<br />
Let the colours soak in. </span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Dry. To always be a reminder.</span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Of all the uncertainties. </span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">That once filled every chapter. </span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Any doubts you had.<br />
Now. Finally. Conquered!!<br />
You sense achievement.</span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Hues. Now bright.<br />
Your own masterpiece.</span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Bringing a smile. </span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Taking away any cloudiness. </span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">That once enveloped you.</span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Positives now surround you.</span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Feeling more secure in yourself.</span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">The fears. Hurts. Become less.</span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Satisfied. You put the canvas away.</span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">But. Leave it within your reach. </span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">For days. When life. </span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Needs another reminder.</span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Prose by Mary Graziano©2014</span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">Revised October 3, 2015 ©</span></b><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><br />
Beautiful Watercolour painting & Title<br />
“THROWING PAINT” By<br />
My wonderful friend Michal Madison ©<br />
</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><a href="http://www.michalmadisonart.com/" target="_blank"><b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 107%;">www.MichalMadisonArt.com</span></b></a></span><b><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 107%;"><br />
Vulnerable Expression of Raw Emotions<br />
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<br />nippercatshomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05642367051111890861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4638872733931779697.post-10773493257309201192014-09-01T15:51:00.000-04:002014-09-01T15:55:35.209-04:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: blue;">JUDGING ME</span></i></div>
<i><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: blue;">MY 5 STAR REVIEW</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;">The Honourable Mary Elizabeth Bullock, a crusader for those with disabilities, fighting for their dignity, for her own dignity. This is a memoir of one courageous, “no holds barred” woman, who fought for her life as a little girl, under the clutches of a wicked monster, and is still to this day fighting for her life.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: blue;">How at 6 years of age, her father tied her to a palm tree, in a snake infested swamp, why? Well that you will have to read to find out. Rising above her fate, never giving up, Mary Elizabeth embraced life, her life and all that happened. Mary released the heaviness she felt within herself, helping her to move forward, not to be defeated in any way, no matter what was thrown at her.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;">God for a while was left out of the equation of her life, at a time when her very being seemed so challenged ~ an incomprehensible feeling flooded her mind with that one question; Why? Why me? Mary shut her mind too God ~ Mary Elizabeth always thought God was just too busy for her and thought He had given up on her. But that was farthest from the truth ~ He never gave up on her, always there talking to her ~ reaching out to her in her darkest times, but she didn't hear Him at that moment in her life.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;">Upon waking one morning Mary’s heart felt lighter than it ever had. Reality did its check. Mary Elizabeth accepted what was put in front of her ~ Multiple Sclerosis ~ blindness ~ Systemic Lupus ~ cancer ~ and so much more ~ Whatever her fate ~ she now accepted it.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: blue;">Mary Elizabeth knew where her vision really lived ~ not within one’s sight ~ but within one’s mind ~ and that was okay. She did not carry a Fixed Mindset ~ but a Mindset of Growth ~ to move forward in her quest to achieve what was now and beyond her very reach.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;">Mary Elizabeth looked for all the attributes of her father in the men she chose ~ tall dark extremely handsome ~ like out of a Danielle Steele novel ~ only to find they were the “devil in disguise” ~ she was drawn to them, as if she believed she needed to be punished for the sins of her father.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;">Mary Elizabeth had strength of character ~ determination to work through the demons of her past ~ courage saved her from staying stuck. She had the courage to move forward one step at a time ~ taking those “baby steps” we always tell each other.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: blue;">Determined to thrive ~ Mary Elizabeth did just that ~ by hard work ~ by grabbing on to a strong will, that keeps you from failing or drowning in the deep abyss called ~ life.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;">Fighting for the injustice of others, never wallowing in what was, determined to move forward, proving she could do something that would give credit to all those who suffered, to support them, show them, they too could thrive and win against the horrific life they endured. Letting them know that they are not alone, she is right there beside them, guiding each survivor along the way.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: blue;">There are many curves in our road towards healing. At times giving up is so much easier. Mary Elizabeth chose to take those bumps and curves and straighten them out by being positive, knowing her future was mapped out for her. God had a plan even through all the turmoil she faced, the next chapter of her life would be fulfilling ~ rewarding ~ but still hard ~ removing choices in her life, in her past, to be who she now is, strong, a fighter, a real warrior for humanity ~ for the disabilities of others, for herself, being her own person, not afraid to speak openly about anything. If something wasn't right, Mary Elizabeth would say just how it should be, her words sometimes biting, but got the point across. She once told me “I need you to put tape over my mouth, as I tend to say too much.” But no, that would not be Mary Elizabeth, that would not be her true self ~ no one was ever going to use her, take away her true self ~ that was done to her too many times ~ now she is her own unique self. A warrior for justice ~ a fighter of the monsters who hurt women ~ fiercely she went after them ~ with a vengeance!!</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;">Now she fights the EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission), fighting the corruption ~ to this very day Mary is in a combat for herself where the government thinks that they are winning, hoping she will give up, but no, Mary Elizabeth will NEVER give up and no doubt knowing her she WILL win.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: blue;">Mary Elizabeth says “Where are the real heroes of today? The government has changed their power from enforcing civil rights to Americans and turned it into a “circus” into abuse, illegal government practices and corruption. This changed her life forever. Determination and the will to keep going is what has kept Mary moving onward, from that little girl who once was told “ you will be nothing,” to a powerful force to be reckoned with. She rose above and like a “show and tell story” Mary was indeed someone, not a “nothing.” She tells her story like it is, true, harsh, with reality and with strength of character. This is one memoir that is a harsh ~ brutal of the life of an abused little girl that blossomed to become one of the most respected federal civil rights judges in the country.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: blue;">A memoir with inspiration for others, helping them on their journey where their paths can become so narrow they don’t think the end will ever be in sight. A memoir that lets you see that you can move forward ~ you can be yourself. The horrors of your life happened, but Mary Elizabeth shares so much wisdom, that helps you rise up and say ~ “Yes, I can become a better person; ~ I can move on and not look back.”</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;">Judging Me ~ a must read for all survivors who question what and who they are ~ where they may go in life ~ a book that gives you so much capabilities ~ a book true to yourself ~</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;">Mary Elizabeth asked me not too long ago while we were talking on the phone, “Mary, have you ever written a poem called Grace?” I answered back no, but I can.” Mary Elizabeth, here is your poem, I hope you enjoy it. (Mary hasn't seen this poem yet). God Bless you my dear friend, I love you, and respect you.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;">~ Mary E. Graziano ©</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;">Revised September 1, 2014</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: blue;">GRACE</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: blue;">Grace so beautiful, self loving, contentment within oneself,</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;">loving who we are, to be the best that we can, enriching our lives,</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;">God’s work of art.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: blue;">Grace is love, kindness, a virtue given to us by Creator Himself,</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;">His loving gift, unconditional in every way.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;">Always there, never ending.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: blue;">Grace is faith, both entwined; one will never work without the other.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;">Challenges that we meet, so hard to attain, but gives you the courage</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;">To go on, to have faith.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: blue;">Grace is that special gift given by God Himself, a spiritual freedom</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;">that comes to us when we acknowledge the power it has,</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;">to feel love in our heart.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: blue;">Grace is courage when you otherwise feel there is no use to go on,</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;">But the love, the drive of others wills you to continue,</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;">to never give up.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="color: blue;">Grace is peace, in knowing love, we know peace, the feeling of love</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;">all around us, in nature, in the love we feel for ourselves,</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;">For others.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;">GRACE ~ A BEAUTIFUL WORD that Mary Elizabeth loves.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;">Written by Mary Graziano ©</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;">JUDGING ME</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: blue;"><br /></span></i>
<br />nippercatshomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05642367051111890861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4638872733931779697.post-52138010228158635842014-09-01T14:53:00.002-04:002015-10-03T19:58:19.521-04:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk8OlOVtdmfHRRK2nDiglrDKaggPnpo5FEac8a9kkO1Orsmgycm86QmLJnYyKegK4ExeY7bAIfKP4JGEjSPmLhcWUPmUY0xpEemPB8LcE_RfeNHkl_MCQGcIPzjt6m4QhyphenhypheneoaiAd_I7TM/s1600/285634_305647922891595_576839255_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk8OlOVtdmfHRRK2nDiglrDKaggPnpo5FEac8a9kkO1Orsmgycm86QmLJnYyKegK4ExeY7bAIfKP4JGEjSPmLhcWUPmUY0xpEemPB8LcE_RfeNHkl_MCQGcIPzjt6m4QhyphenhypheneoaiAd_I7TM/s400/285634_305647922891595_576839255_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
WHY? WHY? WHY? JUST WHY?<br />
<br />
Why? Why? Why? Just Why?<br />
A question so haunting, we often ask<br />
you stole our lives, our existence,<br />
our tears were hid behind a mask.<br />
<br />
We would cry inside, silent tears<br />
too afraid to make a sound,<br />
you abused, hurt, threatened us<br />
our thoughts, so scrambled, so tightly bound.<br />
<br />
The whys will never be answered<br />
we must move on and leave it behind<br />
WE are much stronger, we are survivors<br />
even when the whys still enter our minds.<br />
<br />
You see, you crushed our spirits<br />
stole our inner child so small,<br />
children were we, we didn’t understand<br />
you were the adult, it was your call.<br />
<br />
We as adult survivors, no longer live<br />
in your shadows anymore,<br />
we now have a voice and use it<br />
to expose you and all your gore.<br />
<br />
My whys from the past, never to be answered<br />
I understand, accept it now,<br />
writing, talking about it<br />
no longer silent, to this I do vow!!<br />
<br />
Poetry by Mary Graziano ©<br />
January 16, 2013<br />
Revised September 1, 2014<br />
<br />
Awesome watercolour painting<br />
Title WHY? WHY? WHY? JUST WHY!<br />
By my wonderful friend<br />
Michal Madison<br />
www.MichalMadisonArt.com<br />
copyrightednippercatshomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05642367051111890861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4638872733931779697.post-68925041967880758002014-08-27T17:27:00.004-04:002014-08-27T17:27:52.962-04:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJzGlXee7Om2FH4Yl_bNqZotvBlEkpafTcPuCVNcGphFa5iROyDIdOXRhUYFK2d3x_k4owePuP9W8LN_Klr-GYZcMAxN0puqYRQezatotQqExnBElKBFAe_h7AvhN6yfhg1if8ALJFQps/s1600/10390548_10154566660260232_1996285927685679185_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJzGlXee7Om2FH4Yl_bNqZotvBlEkpafTcPuCVNcGphFa5iROyDIdOXRhUYFK2d3x_k4owePuP9W8LN_Klr-GYZcMAxN0puqYRQezatotQqExnBElKBFAe_h7AvhN6yfhg1if8ALJFQps/s1600/10390548_10154566660260232_1996285927685679185_n.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">IRIS INVITATION</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 14px;">The beauty of the Iris, so elegant,</span></div>
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<span class="userContent" style="text-indent: 0px !important;">ruffled blooms that dance in the<br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" />warm summer breeze, sending a request<br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" />for you to come close, see how intricate<br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" />each petal is, to marvel at its splendour.<br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" /><br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" />Hues of purple, lavish the blooms<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; text-indent: 0px !important;"><br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" />with abundance, petals sleeping,<br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" />soon unwrap themselves when feeling the<br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" />rays of the morning sun, spreading upward<br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" />standing tall with the other Irises.<br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" /><br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" />Embracing all the warmth, feeling strong, <br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" />its beauty again sends out an invitation <br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" />as you become mesmerized by such<br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" />elegance, one flower can present,<br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" />by the wondrous tones nature has painted.<br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" /><br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" />Sword like leaves, waving you closer<br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" />proudly showing off its green foliage,<br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" />enhancing the beauty of the dancing Iris.<br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" />Light flowing through intensifies each leaf,<br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" />the strong tubular stem proudly displaying the Iris.<br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" /><br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" />So many magical shades, striking, sharing<br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" />a rainbow of colours, so beautiful, <br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" />leaving you in awe, having you return<br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" />once again when you see the Iris dancing.<br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" />Your invitation to come back into their world.<br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" /><br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" />Poetry by Mary Graziano ©<br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" />Watercolour painting “IRIS INVITATION”<br style="text-indent: 0px !important;" />by Lynn C. Tolson ©</span></span></div>
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<br />nippercatshomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05642367051111890861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4638872733931779697.post-12288591488764245712014-08-27T16:39:00.001-04:002014-08-27T16:53:48.339-04:00SUNFLOWER SUNRISE<div class="userContentWrapper aboveUnitContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 15.359999656677246px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-top: 15px;">
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<span class="userContent">SUNFLOWER SUNRISE<br /><br />The sunflower, a flower of beauty<br />raising its head up towards the rising sun.<br />Feeling warmth as it proudly displays petals<br />with vibrant hues of yellow, imitating the sun.<br /><br />Each petal looking like rays of sunshine,<br />to brighten your day, helping to evoke feelings<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;"><br />of warmth inside, of joy, inspiration,<br />leaving you with a feeling of hope.<br /><br />Standing tall, the sunflower ~ proud, creating a place for itself,<br />not worrying about what others think.<br />Its symbol being FAITH ~ faith in itself, giving<br />it the strength to hold its head up high.<br /><br />Be like the sunflower, never wane, become that individual<br />with aspirations, fulfilling every dream,<br />leaving yesterday behind, building your tomorrows,<br />becoming proud ~ never let the past influence or degrade.<br /><br />Reach for the light; take hold of all positives,<br />discard any negatives, letting the shadows of the sun<br />sweep away your past, and all that hurts.<br />Stay strong ~ be strong ~ be like the “Sunflower Sunrise.”<br /><br />Poetry by Mary Graziano ©<br />Revised, August24, 2014<br />Watercolour painting and title<br />“SUNFLOWER SUNRISE” by<br />Michal Madison ©<br /><a href="http://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.michalmadisonart.com%2F&h=wAQGYzOxF&s=1" rel="nofollow nofollow" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">www.michalmadisonart.com</a></span></span></div>
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"Hope is like the sun, which,<br />
as we journey toward it,<br />
casts the shadow of<br />
our burdens behind us."<br />
Samuel Smiles (Scottish author 1812-1904)<br />
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"Sunflower Sunrise"<br />
watercolor by Michal Madison<br />
<a href="http://www.michalmadisonart.net/galleries.html" rel="nofollow nofollow" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">www.MichalMadisonArt.net/galleries.html</a><br />
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nippercatshomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05642367051111890861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4638872733931779697.post-63805867179950035642014-07-17T10:44:00.004-04:002015-08-15T22:12:42.580-04:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Loving ourselves is something that we find hard to do. So often we are only thinking of the negative things about ourselves. What about the positives? If you stop and think for on minute of one positive, one thing you have done, then you can start doing this every day. Push aside the negative thinking. Be happy in who you are. We are not perfect no-one is, and if anyone tells you that they are, then they are only fooling themselves. Your thoughts are what keeps you either feeling good about yourself or upset, angry with yourself. How many times do we tell ourselves we are not worthy, are stupid etc. Really start thinking about what you say to you, then try and turn it around.<br />
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Life throws curves at us all the time. Life is not easy, but we have to make the best of it. We don't live in a perfect world, these curves along the way can help you grow, help you become a better YOU. Let go of the "what ifs" we all do it, but does it get us anywhere? Thinking or dreaming of a better life, won't get you there, you have to have to do it, act on it. How else are you going to achieve it. <br />
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By loving yourself, others will become to love you. Loving yourself, helps you to love others because if you don't know how to love, how can you love another person? We all make mistakes, that's how we learn, but when we put ourselves down for what we did wrong, we are only hurting ourselves. Others can walk away from us when they hear our negativity, but we can never walk away. We are it., we live with ourselves, we need to love who you are inside, in your soul, reach deep, tell yourself how awesome you really are. I know how hard this is to do, I find it hard to love myself.<br />
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Being a survivor of child abuse, it is often ingrained in us that we are not worthy, we are nothing. We believe it, and live it everyday. But it is not true. I realize now that I'm not stupid, I can achieve anything I set my mind to. Living in fear during my childhood and teen years takes your self-esteem down to the very bottom of that abyss, leaves you stranded in the negative thoughts. I wondered what I ever did wrong, why I was being punished. I believed all the things said to me, but you know, it wasn't true. We were fed lies, we were abused, and felt we deserved it. The abuser was the one that took away our inner self. Now we need to find it again, and it all comes down to learning to love ourselves.<br />
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That little child in each of us suffered tremendously, locked her/himself up tightly, to keep safe, but didn't feel love for themselves from others. That continued on as we grew. I never saw the potential inside myself to be who I wanted to be. To succeed in my dreams. I always wanted to be a nurse, but was told that I wasn't smart enough. I couldn't go on to University or collage, so I struggled though high school, got my diploma and went out and found a job. Nursing was pushed out of my mind. Today, I know I could have done it, but it took all these years to really realize that I shouldn't have listened, I should have at least tried, and if I didn't succeed, then that was my decision to at least try. Now I regret it so much.<br />
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To learn to really love ourselves, we need to reach our inner child, it all starts there. We need to be gentle with her/him, and by doing that we are being gentle with ourselves. Take the time to sit when all is quiet, talk to your inner child, say loving things to them. Your inner child hasn't heard kind words, praise, those are words that are not in their vocabulary. But by doing that we are acknowledging our own person, our adult self. You will start to realize that being kind to your own self, will start to make you feel a warmth inside. Compassion for others is so easy for us to show, but to show that same compassion for ourselves, is foreign to us. <br />
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Loving ourselves is hard work, loving that inner child is hard to do also. Many may not even believe that our inner child exists, but they are there, just hidden away until someone comes and sets them free. Frightened by the past, they are insecure, unloved and feel abandoned. And as our adult selves we feel that also. We may push it away and think everything is fine, and on the outside to others, it may seem fine, but if you really thing about it, is it? To most others, I seem perfectly fine, happy, content with myself, laughing, but inside my gut feelings are still hidden away. For the most part I have opened up and let most of those feelings out, but I still hold many inside. Why? because I think I still am not loving enough of me. Sometimes I don't care about my feelings, I don't care enough to do something about it. But I need to care about me first, and we all need to. Today, I try and be more positive with myself, sometimes I fail at it, but I am trying and that is all that matters. My inner child, at most feels happier today than she ever has. She is no longer hidden, no longer afraid to venture outside her "box" and can smile, laugh, but also has those dark days, where she wants to stay hidden. I have and we all have those days, but its just a day, because tomorrow comes along, and can change that mindset, to a positive one. Each day will never be the same as the day before. We as adults need to stop letting others tell making our decisions for us, it's time for us to make our own decisions, our own goals. It's our choice not theirs. You decide what you want in life, and you decide if you want to love yourself or keep on hating yourself ~ One thing I know is that we are all worth it, we are uniquely our own person, so accept it ~<br />
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Love who you are....Give yourself a hug, tell yourself you matter, first, second and third..nippercatshomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05642367051111890861noreply@blogger.com2Stoney Creek, Hamilton, ON, Canada43.2272182 -79.71955860000002843.1346537 -79.880920100000026 43.319782700000005 -79.558197100000029