Tuesday, January 6, 2009
THE PAST HOW IT MAKES ME WEEP
I try so hard to shake the past
But it still flickers through my mind,
That little girl that I do see
Herself she still cant find.
The pain she feels tears through her
Like a knife so sharp she screams,
Why did he do those awful things
When he comes close it makes her squeam.
She feels his breath upon her face
Her eyes shut tight to hide,
He gropes her body until it hurts
“You're daddy's girl, oh how he lied”.
With tears that stain her little cheeks
Too afraid to make a sound,
Like a monster he envelopes her
And takes her, to him she's bound.
She only wishes for happy times
To be free to smile and have fun,
But her sombre look takes hold of her
There's no joy, no love, just none.
She tries so hard to hide her fears
And keeps them deep inside,
But one day they will erupt in her
And to someone she will confide.
With my eyes I see her tiny face
I cry for her each night,
I want so much to hug her close
And tell her it will be alright.
But sadness is all I see in her
And the pain that she did feel,
Of the emptiness that did strangle her
Why did it have to be real?
Where does it say that someone
Can abuse a child so small?
Relentless probing fingers
She was frozen, she was held in thrall.
It still sickens me to envision it
As an adult it still hurts so deep
My mind it wanders amilessly
To the past, how it makes me weep.
I don't know when I will heal inside
For that little girl in me,
Is still too scared to open up
Dear God please help set her free.
Free to be herself again,
With a sparkle in her eye,
To have happy thoughts and pretty smiles
And no more fears that make her cry.
I end this here in hopes that I
Will one day conquer my fears,
And be able to show one little child
That there IS hope, and no more tears.
Written by Mary G.©