The Blog Farm

The Blog Farm

Wednesday, June 6, 2012


Well this is my first attempt at writing a poem that I wrote this afternoon as a song, I would love to hear feedback in all honesty, Ive even been in tears as I read it over...thanks everyone...
**May be triggering.......


SHADOWS OF NIGHT


Alone in the night they cry out in fear
Ashamed and abused they hide to disappear,
A living hell that binds them and squeezes them tight
These are the children of the shadows of night.

Feel, do you feel pain for all children,
That's why we must fight
And stand up for their rights,
Feel, do you feel pain for all children,
We must release them and save them
From the shadows of night.

Bruised and alone to face so much abuse
Their throats are squeezed tight, as if in a noose,
Silenced from fear, the scars tell it all
No-where to run, no-one to call.

Feel, do you feel pain for all children,
That's why we must fight
And stand up for their rights,
Feel, do you feel pain for all children,
We must release them and save them
From the shadows of night.

Monsters who savagely rape for their pleasure
Taking the innocence away from our treasures,
Our children can't fight, so many do die
So many tears in our eyes, oh how we do cry.

Feel, do you feel pain for all children,
That's why we must fight
And stand up for their rights,
Feel, do you feel pain for all children
We must release them and save them
From the shadows of night.


Shackled and bound their minds block it away
To try and escape the torturous days,
Their bodies are his, to do as he pleases
Spreads open their legs, as he soon releases.

Feel, do you feel pain for all children,
That's why we must fight
And stand up for their rights,
Feel, do you feel pain for all children,
We must release them and save them
From the shadows of night.

We can't sweep it away or pretend it's not there
Must open our eyes, and show them we care,
Children need to be loved, safe and protected
With God's help we have all been selected.

Feel, do you feel pain for all children,
That's why we must fight
And stand up for their rights,
Feel, do you feel pain for all children,
We must release them and save them
From the shadows of night.

Alone in the night they cry out in fear
Ashamed and abused, they hide to disappear,
A living hell that binds them and squeezes them tight
These are the children of the shadows of night.

Feel, do you feel pain for all children
That's why we must fight
And stand up for their rights
Feel, do you feel pain for all children,
We must release them and save them
From the shadows of night.

Written by Mary Graziano
June 6, 2012

Monday, June 4, 2012


MY SHAME MY BLAME

Cramped inside myself, I hide
Like a cocoon that's wrapped up tight,
Filthy words that speak to me
My mind, it just can't fight.

Hideous creatures grab hold, abuse
Eyes peering back at me,
I hear my little self scream out
Please help, please set me free.

Over-powered, I'm trapped, I can't escape
Can't reach out to set her free,
They make me watch, I cry in shame
Of these images I don't want to see.

Scoffing, they laugh at my defeat
As the memories of my little self unwind
Too young to face the wrong they did
Can't cope, she floats from my mind.

To escape her cocoon, as a butterfly
To flee the wrath at hand,
Fly high above the clouds so white
Viewing mountains that are so grand.

But her glimpse of happiness erodes away
As reality strikes back and wins,
It takes her back to the abusers at hand
As they take her, her mind does spin.

I need to reach my little self
To free her from this hell
But all I see is their dirty deeds
She's rigid, caught under their spell.

I bare the scars that I carry still
So much shame is what I see,
I feel I'm to blame for my little self
Because I just can't set her free.

So she crawls back into that cocoon so tight
Wondering when that day will be,
I just don't have an answer for her
There is no guarantee.

Written by Mary Graziano
June 2, 2012

I wrote this poem because I have so many feelings of blame still for myself that I must heal from. The shame I felt and still feel to this day still haunt me. I blame myself for not being able to free my little self from all the hurt and abuse she suffered when she was suppose to have been loved and protected.



DAMAGED

Did my mother 
Really love me
When she whacked 
Me hard that day,
My knees were scraped
 And bleeding
No, “I'm sorry,”
 Did she say.

She'd shake me hard
 And tell me
How stupid and
 Dumb I was
I'd cringe but
 I believed it
And would often
 Wonder why.

She'd lock me outside
 in the winter time,
I didn't know
 Where to go,
So I'd just cry and 
Stay out in the backyard
Hours freezing 
Out in the snow.



Some kids had
 Birthday parties
I never 
Remembered one,
No birthday cake
 To share, so sad
It would have 
Been so much fun.

I love you” is
 So hard for me
To even say today,
I never heard
 It growing up
Why did it happen
To me this way.

My dad would 
Take me fishing
And that was 
So much fun,
But he still found 
Time to abuse me
I was scared, 
No-where to run.

I wished I felt
 Some anger
So I could have 
Screamed at him, 
But I didn't have 
It in me to say
You're a bastard, go to hell!!!

As I write my inner 
Thoughts and words,
I feel sorry for 
What I have said,
But I need to 
Express my feelings
Or they will explode
 Right in my head.

There's so many things
 I need to say
To both you my
 Mom and dad,
But now it's to late
 To tell you
That I wasn't
 Really bad.

Mom, I know 
I haven't visited
Your grave site
 Much this year,
I feel
 So very guilty
Too many memories
 Are what I fear.

Dad I'm sorry
 I have yet to come
To your grave 
Since you have died,
But you were
 My abuser
And my question 
That I ask is WHY.



Why did you hurt
 My little self
She cared, love 
Is what she did give,
Now she's lost,
 I can't reach out to her
You've drained
 Her will to live.

She sits and cries 
In loneliness
No future 
Does she see,
I just can't forgive 
You for what you did
You damaged 
That child in me.

 Mary Graziano ©
June 3, 2012

These words that I wrote was my inner child crying out wanting answers to why she and other children like her endured so much pain growing up. The emptiness she feels inside crushes her very soul, and my adult self is crushed beyond belief because I can't reach out and hug and tell her everything is going to be ok. Abuse of any kind is so very damaging to little children, and is so hard to repair, and as adults we feel their hurt and I think the only way to be a survivor is to be able to save them and tell them that they are safe now and can be free from the heartache that they feel inside.





THE OBJECT ON THE WALL

I remember oh so vivid
But how, I was maybe two,
Standing in my crib that day
Frightful tears, what could I do.

I stared and stared so blankly
At the object on the wall,
Why was I afraid to look
I curled up into a ball.

But when my eyes did open wide
The object was still there,
Again the tears were spewing out
Too much, too much to bare.

A bed stood close right by my crib
But blackness is all I see,
Then there I am lying on the bed
And a man lying next to me.

There is nothing else I remember
Just that little tot so small,
Caught up in a web so tightly
With that cigar shape on the wall.

That shape! That shape!
It haunts me still, right to this very day
Why did I see it on the wall
What's the significance, my mind is frayed.

I need to help my “Inner Child”
And tell her that she is safe,
But it tears me apart to see her
My crying little waif.

My mind has blocked parts of this memory
It crushes my very soul,
I need to know what happened
It scares me it's taking its tole.

When will my inner child be safe
And fly high on an eagle's wing,
Where laughter fills her heart and soul
And her voice oh how she will sing.

This chapter is not yet over
The pieces all need to fit in,
So calmness can come to my inner child
And the bad memories will never win.

Written by Mary Graziano
May 5, 2012