The Blog Farm

The Blog Farm

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Beautiful watercolour painting by Michal Madison


How often do we really see through the eyes of a child? How often do we ignore what we are seeing?  Not asking what is wrong, thinking that "oh well they are just having a bad day."  They may show signs of sadness, helplessness, and a general feeling of loneliness. They may feel afraid, feeling unsafe.  A child may keep to themselves, too afraid to say what is bothering them.  Maybe they have been bullied or have no friends at school.  We need to really look into their eyes.  The eyes speak to us, can often tell us how someone is feeling. 
     Often, parents don't look inside the eyes of their child, they don't see the sadness that is there, or may just turn a blind eye to it.  I myself, as a little child have heard my parents argue and fight, although there was never any physical abuse between them, it still hurt me so bad inside. I held it all inside of me, 
 It scared me and made me very sad inside, often thinking it was my fault, that I was to blame for some of the arguing that went on. I would hide in my room, put a pillow over my head so I didn't have to hear my mother screaming.  She was the one who did 99% of the yelling.

     I remember one time my mother walked out of the house after they argued, and I didn't know if she was coming back or not. This was very traumatizing for me, as I was only about 5 at the time,
 My brother and I would keep asking our dad when she was coming home but he never answered.  I was left alone with my dad and my brother, and I can remember one incidence where he would come into my room to tuck me in, and started tickling me, then his hand  touched me on my genitals  and asked me if it tickled.  Me being me, I didn't answer him, hoping he would leave quickly.  That little girl in me was very scared, unsure of what had happened.  So I was caught in a situation where my mother had left (I think it was for a week, which seemed a lifetime), and now my father had the chance to abuse me sexually whenever he felt like it because she wasn't there.

     If only they both had looked inside my eyes, to see the look of sadness that was there.  As I look back on this now, I have an understanding about why I may have been so  solemn and quiet. How many other children have this same feeling inside of them?  How many eyes are being ignored?  How  many parents are not seeing the signs of a child being abused?  It hurts me to see that so  many little ones are going through this, are being ignored or told to just get over feelings that make them sad.  No child should be ignored, no child should feel sad, scared to tell.  But when they are ignored at home, why would they bother to tell? I didn't, I felt often times abandoned, that my feelings never mattered.  But a child's feelings matter just as much as an adults.....Because as they grow up, all the hurt feelings build up causing so many other ailments, depression can set in if it already hasn't.  Suicide, because they feel no one hears them.. Please, look into the eyes of a little child, before it's too late.  Their eyes tell a story~  Will YOU be there for them?

 Mary Graziano ©
Edited April 4, 2014
Artwork by my wonderful friend
Michal Madison ©

Through the Eyes Of A Child

What do you see 
I said to her
I see much sadness 
Of faces with tears,
The look in their eyes 
Shows so much pain
I see the terror 
Of all their fears.

What would you change, 
If ever you could
I would take away their pain 
And hold them tight
And give them hope, 
That they never had
Take away their fears 
From the darkness of night.

What do you feel 
I asked of her
I feel the presence 
Of danger close by,
The shivers of fear 
That makes them weep
I wish I could answer 
Their questions...why.

Why would you 
Take it upon yourself
To do these things, 
To set them right,
Because I know 
The pain they feel
I know of their sadness 
For which they can't fight

But how do you know 
These things I said
You were not there, 
You did not see,
In them I saw 
Myself, she said
Stuck in time, 
I can't get free.

Now that you see 
Through the eyes of a child
Can you stop the blame 
For yourself inside,
I've tried so hard 
To tell myself
The blame is not mine, 
 I needn't hide.

It's not your fault, 
I gently told her
Blame needs to be put 
On him instead,
I know you are right 
Is what she said
Dear God, I thank you 
As she bowed her head.

 Mary Graziano ©
Edited April 4, 2014
Artwork by my wonderful friend
Michal Madison ©


Patricia Singleton said...

Mary, Thank you for writing this for all of the lonely, hurting abused children of the world. I have always believed if someone looked into my eyes as a child, they would have known. (((Hugs))) my dear friend. The beauty of your soul shines out through your words.

Mary Graziano said...

Patricia, thank you so much my friend. Yes, if they really looked into our eyes, they could have seen the hurt, that was there. Hugs and Love to you.