The Blog Farm

The Blog Farm

Monday, June 16, 2008

The Darkness Inside of Me

The Darkness Inside of Me

Darkness is my enemy
It swallows me up inside,
With searing thoughts and pictures
Flashing slowly; it won't subside.

As I lay their staring blankly
In a room that has no light,
In the darkness that envelopes me
No courage left to fight.

I close my eyes so tightly
To keep out the pain and fear,
But the gripping pieces of memory
Slowly re-appear.

The jaws of darkness devours me
To take over my mind and soul,
The retching feeling deep inside
Is finally taking its toll.

I can't stop the fears of sadness
It tears me all apart,
I see the pain from long ago
That shatters my broken heart.

I can't escape the darkness
That lives inside of me,
I fear it will last forever
It may never set me free.
Mary Graziano©



The power of darkness can overtake us. It can consume us and render our spirit, taking away any joy we may feel. " The darkness Within Me" gives me pain, all the pain I have felt throughout my life. It invades my mind. It brings forth the memories from long ago to face over and over again.

The darkness kills my spirit. It obscures my mind.

Why does it have this power over me? Am I that weak that I let it take over my very being? Why does it render me helpless with flashes of memory that overtake my mind, memories that make me sad, hopeless, fearful and helpless? What is this "Power of Darkness?"

14 comments:

jumpinginpuddles said...

we understand darkness more than light but for us the reason we have darkness is because when light finally gets through it is such a relief

Diane of Crafty Passions said...

Hello,

Thank you for coming by my blog and leaving a comment. I enjoyed your blog,esp your last post,I just lost my mother and I feel the darkness the heaviness of pain.Its one day at a time for me.
Diane

Shiv said...

You truly are a gifted poet, these verses you weave are ripe with emotion and peppered with personal insight.
You are not weak, our past can become a terrible sentient torturer that springs on us when we are least prepared. I hope your past will soon release it's manacles from you and allow you to move forward freely.
*hugs*
~Shiv

jumpinginpuddles said...

we are trying to find your email addy to ask you something can you please send it to us bezco@h*tm*il.com just fill in the blanks

Clueless said...

Wow!! That was quite a powerful poem and I know that darkness, that empty dark, bottomless hole. I found that allowing it to be there and to speak about the memories and feelings with my T makes it smaller and helps me to find my footing so I don't feel swallowed up. Allowing light to touch your darkness by speaking out feels good and is painful. But, staying only in the dark is only painful.

P.J. said...

I enjoyed your poem. I am a poetry girl myself, but haven't done it for tooooo long!

Thanks for stopping by my blog!! I appreciate the comment!

P.S. Does your blog title have anything to do with the "nippers" in Newfoundland???

~Deb said...

Hi Mary,

Received your comment just now and responded back to you.

I know this darkness all too well. But, for me, think about the kids who need you that you help every day. Think about those who love and cherish you. I don't think you're weak, I think and believe that the darkness sometimes grabs a hold of us when we're most vulnerable.

Fight it.

In my comment back to you on my post, I mentioned how instead of beating myself up with pills and alcohol to numb the emotional pain or let the suicidal thoughts invade my mind, I beat myself up at the gym. Even walking or just something to punch---(a punching bag of course), or something to get your inner aggressions out.

We all have them.

Please email me if you need to vent.

:)

Praying for you!

preciousrock said...

Hi Mary,
Thanks for visiting my blog today and commenting. Have had a chance to read some of your poetry and it is wonderfully insightful. I can relate to every word of this one. I'll get back soon and read some more.

Deb said...

The darkness will not win.

Tracy said...

Great Poem. Very powerful, and many i am sure can relate with it, as i know i can. Remember though that even though darkness is powerful, light is more so. One small candle can overcome any darkness. Always look for the light, and see the hope.

Hugs and blessings sent your way.

~Red Tin Heart~ said...

Mary, I think sadness envelopes us because we feel helpless to change things that are out of our control. Murder, rape, abuse.
It least it is that way for me. And the loss of those we love.
My story was about my husband John when we first got together.
And my sadness over losing him has envelpoed me like a dark blanket. I fight it..
What else can you do but fight the darkness? We can't give in to it.
Nita

Tamara said...

Thank you for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment. You made my day a little easier.

You write beautifully and express so well what many of us are feeling. I love to write poetry but am in a stuck place right now where the words won't come. Sigh!

I know the darkness feels awful. It is usually my little girl that is down in a dark well. I picture giving her a flashlight or a candle so that she can have a little light and feel safer.

Dorothy said...

Mary you are so blessed with talent I love your writing.

May I give you a thought? The darkness only has negative power if you think it. I see you in darkness amassing more writing for us to enjoy...

When I see darkness I think more clearly, plan and quote my day..when I need the strength to get into the day I ask God to help me feel his light. Try it and let me know what happens.

Only you can do this...my blessings..

Dorothy from grammology
remember to call your gram
grammology.com

Spring said...

I've been really struggling with depression and being stuck in this dark hole as well. You are right when you said on my blog that it is hard to forgive, I can tell you know that very well and have been hurt greatly.
I know of myself alone I can't forgive, its just not in me to do that, like you said we are human. But with Jesus in my heart His love and forgiveness overpowers my anger and hurt. He heals my dark spots until only His light and love shines through and all anyone can see is Him. But its a long process of letting go of my anger and letting Him live in me and take over my giant bag of pain.