Wednesday, June 4, 2008
No-one can see the fear she has
Nor the pain within her eyes,
She hides within herself to keep
Her feelings deep inside.
Fear of doing something wrong
Too afraid to use her voice,
She closes her eyes and finds a place
That's hers, it is her choice.
Safe from the fear of hurting words
Safe from all abuse,
Safe to hold herself and cry
But the demons are all still loose.
The biting words, the worthlessness
Makes her cringe deep down inside,
Like a vice, it squeezes life from her
With tears she wants to die.
I try to give her comfort
To hold her close to me,
But the pain from all the memories,
Are too strong to set us free.
That little girl inside of me
Faced many fears and doubts,
She cries inside me everyday
"Please let the DEMONS out!!!"
written by Mary G.
WHAT IS FEAR?
Fear is a strong word. The dictionary defines fear as "an emotional response to tangible and realistic dangers. Most fear is usually connected pain of some kind. Fear is a survival mechanism and usually occurs in response to a specific negative stimulus."
I think having fear is something that is distressing, and makes you aware that there is some sort of danger.
Some types of fear can make a person "live in a bubble" because they can't escape this "bubble" out of fear. They are too afraid.
I feared the emotional abuse of my mother. The power and control that she had over me not only when I was a child but into my adult life, up until her death 3 years ago. I can honestly say that I never ever said a bad word to her or spoke back to her. I was never allowed to voice my opinion about anything. I was never allowed to argue with her even if she was wrong. I never did these things because I FEARED her. I had no self-worth. My feelings never mattered, they were unimportant. She controlled my emotions. She controlled my very "being."
I never ever remembered my mother telling me "I Love You" I never heard her use these words to anyone. I don't ever remember saying it back to her ever. I often felt worthless because she would never listen to me...she had control...she had to BE in control......