Posts
MY
SHAME MY BLAME
Cramped
inside myself, I hide
Like
a cocoon that's wrapped up tight,
Filthy
words that speak to me
My
mind, it just can't fight.
Hideous
creatures grab hold, abuse
Eyes
peering back at me,
I
hear my little self scream out
Please
help, please set me free.
Over-powered,
I'm trapped, I can't escape
Can't
reach out to set her free,
They
make me watch, I cry in shame
Of
these images I don't want to see.
Scoffing,
they laugh at my defeat
As
the memories of my little self unwind
Too
young to face the wrong they did
Can't
cope, she floats from my mind.
To
escape her cocoon, as a butterfly
To
flee the wrath at hand,
Fly
high above the clouds so white
Viewing
mountains that are so grand.
But
her glimpse of happiness erodes away
As
reality strikes back and wins,
It
takes her back to the abusers at hand
As
they take her, her mind does spin.
I
need to reach my little self
To
free her from this hell
But
all I see is their dirty deeds
She's
rigid, caught under their spell.
I
bare the scars that I carry still
So
much shame is what I see,
I
feel I'm to blame for my little self
Because
I just can't set her free.
So
she crawls back into that cocoon so tight
Wondering
when that day will be,
I
just don't have an answer for her
There
is no guarantee.
Written
by Mary Graziano
June
2, 2012
I
wrote this poem because I have so many feelings of blame still for
myself that I must heal from. The shame I felt and still feel to
this day still haunt me. I blame myself for not being able to free
my little self from all the hurt and abuse she suffered when she was
suppose to have been loved and protected.
3 comments:
Mary, would you blame one of your grandchildren if they were abused and they couldn't save themselves from being abused? As a grandmother myself, I know you wouldn't, so don't blame yourself. You were just a child. You didn't have the ability to save yourself from the adults that abused you. Look at your grandchildren and see yourself at their ages. You were just as beautiful as they are.
I wouldn't blame them I know that, and Iknow I shouldn't blame myself, so why do I then? I keep thinking I should have said something, I should have yelled NO, thank you Patricia. ♥
Mary, you were a helpless child. From what little bit of your story that I know, do you really think it would have made a difference if you had said something, if you had yelled No? Would they have listened? Would they have stopped? I said no a number of times. My dad ignored me everytime and still did what he wanted to.
Post a Comment