The Blog Farm

The Blog Farm

Sunday, September 1, 2013


Hurt, much sadness,
Lost feelings inside
Spilling deep
Within my heart
Tears that flow
Like a fountain
Seems to never
Want to end
How much hurt
Does one have to feel
So much doubt
I feel inside.

Nerves that cause
Words that hurt
Deep inside my head
I just can’t hide
Away from myself
Can’t face so much
Sorrow inside.

 Where does it end
That past that haunts
But I need to hang on
To some strength,
My hearts not in it
Just not right now,
I will have
To begin again

They say we are
Healing from the past
When our mind
Let’s the thoughts
Come through
But until it does
Sad feelings inside
My tears still flow
Im Lost.

Mary Graziano©
September 1, 2013
 These were my thoughts that I had this morning and for a few days now. Fighting with myself, trying to make sense of how I feel inside myself.  I feel so frustrated, and about to explode inside.  Feel like just taking off in my car and just driving, but in reality I can't do that. I have to face the feelings, I guess the demons from the past that still haunt  me.  Facing those new memories I am thinking this might be why I am feeling this way.  It has been a long time since I have hurt like this, a very long time.  I don't like it and hate myself for it.  But I also know I need t move on, and others are trying to help me reach that point.  New memories creep up on us and send us backwards, but we can't stay there, it is not where we are.  Clearing up those new memories is going to take some time for me, my mind hasn't let me see everything that happened, but hopefully in time it will.  Next blog will be about the attic.  That is my new memory, where that little 4/5 year old girl in me was deeply afraid, fearing the darkness, being so afraid by being locked inside the attic by someone .  

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