The Blog Farm

The Blog Farm

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Because I hurt


Because I hurt.... I'm crippled
My mind is stuck in time,
It harbours thoughts and visions
Can't wash away the grime.

Because I hurt....I felt damaged
From the time that I was young,
You said I wasn't worthy
Those words hit hard, they stung.

Because I hurt....I felt guilty
For whatever I did do wrong,
You stripped me of my feelings
To heal, my journey's long.

Because I hurt....I felt the shame
Of the harm that I did do,
I thought that it would heal the hurt
But I know it's just not true.

Because I hurt....I felt rejected
And that pain was so very deep,
That little girl was all alone
She'd cry herself to sleep.

Because I hurt....I can't express
My feelings deep inside,
They're locked up tight and can't be reached
The secrets are what I hide.

Because I hurt....I felt violated
In my mind, my body and soul,
You stripped me from my very self
The innocence of life you stole.

Because I hurt....I can't love myself
You never showed me how,
Hate for me is all I felt
For years, right up to now.

Because I hurt....I am not free
To think of happy thoughts,
The memories reel inside my head
Compassion is all I sought.

Because I hurt....I still can't heal
The hurt is here to stay,
Maybe it was all just a dream
This is what I do pray.

Because I hurt....I try to escape
From the emptiness I feel inside,
But the darkness holds me prisoner
My "self" it's died.

Because I hurt....I felt vulnerable
I trusted you above all,
I didn't know that what you did
Was wrong, it was your call.

Because I hurt....I tried to deny
All things that made me sad,
I often thought I deserved all this,
That just maybe I was bad.

Because I hurt....I can't seem to find
Any goodness inside of me
I only see a crying child
With tears that are too blinding to see.

Because I fight is gone
My thoughts I can't divert,
This is how I explain the words
written By Mary G.


Tamara said...

Oh, Mary,

You are not bad or wrong or damaged. You should feel not guilt. There is goodness inside of you and your self is not gone. I know it feels like this will never end and you can't heal but I know you can. It isn't easy, it isn't quick but you can heal. Please believe that. I am so very sorry for this pain that you continue to carry inside. These things that were done to you had nothing to do with you. They only had to do with your abuser. You were never anything but sweet, innocent and pure. You still are.

Sending you lots of gentle love and hugs (if Okay),

Wanda's Wings said...

Mary I so can relate to how you feel. Peaceful thoughts fill your heart to night to take away some pain.

Sandy said...

wow mary. u r marvelous with words.

Strong & determined said...


Your poems are very insightful. I'm sure others feel they way I do when I read your poetry - that you are expressing exactly how we are feeling deep inside.

I hope you know you have cheerleaders out here. We care about you and how you are feeling. Thank you for being brave enough to open your heart and share with all of us.

Deb said...

You are so much more now just as you were back then. Brush aside the hollow words that made/make you feel so damaged. They were spoken by someone who truly did not cherish you.

April_optimist said...

What a powerful poem! And I recognized so much of how I used to feel in it. You are a wonderful, good person who deserved to be loved and cherished growing up and now. The shame and guilt belong to abusers--not us.

Tracy said...

What a powerful Poem Mary. As others have already said you are so much more. You will heal! You will come out of this stronger and emotionally healthier.


Renaissance Woman said...

Mary your words are powerful.

Thank you for stopping by my site! I look forward to reading your site often.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Mary,
Thanks for visiting my blog and for the insightful comments you left behind. That was a beautiful piece of poetry coming straight from the heart. It showed so much emotions and feelings deep down inside. Thanks for the poetry. God bless.

Bipolar Wellness Writer said...

Dear Mary,
So sorry to read you're in so much pain. Wish I could make it go away!


Chica. said...

I can relate to every single word. Thank you for sharing.

jumpinginpuddles said...

this touched us deeply we need tiem to think about it and will write more later

~Deb said...

I'm sorry you're hurting. My prayers go out to you. I felt your pain through your words and I wish there was some way to just chip away at the hurt and make it all better.


jumpinginpuddles said...

you are worth so much more than their lies