The Past How It Makes Me Weep

THE PAST HOW IT MAKES ME WEEP

I try so hard to shake the past

But it still flickers through my mind,

That little girl that I do see

Herself she still cant find.

The pain she feels tears through her

Like a knife so sharp she screams,

Why did he do those awful things

When he comes close it makes her squeam.

She feels his breath upon her face

Her eyes shut tight to hide,

He gropes her body until it hurts

“You're daddy's girl, oh how he lied”.

With tears that stain her little cheeks

Too afraid to make a sound,

Like a monster he envelopes her

And takes her, to him she's bound.

She only wishes for happy times

To be free to smile and have fun,

But her sombre look takes hold of her

There's no joy, no love, just none.

She tries so hard to hide her fears

And keeps them deep inside,

But one day they will erupt in her

And to someone she will confide.

With my eyes I see her tiny face

I cry for her each night,

I want so much to hug her close

And tell her it will be alright.

But sadness is all I see in her

And the pain that she did feel,

Of the emptiness that did strangle her

Why did it have to be real?

Where does it say that someone

Can abuse a child so small?

Relentless probing fingers

She was frozen, she was held in thrall.

It still sickens me to envision it

As an adult it still hurts so deep

My mind it wanders amilessly

To the past, how it makes me weep.

I don't know when I will heal inside

For that little girl in me,

Is still too scared to open up

Dear God please help set her free.

Free to be herself again,

With a sparkle in her eye,

To have happy thoughts and pretty smiles

And no more fears that make her cry.

I end this here in hopes that I

Will one day conquer my fears,

And be able to show one little child

That there IS hope, and no more tears.

Written by Mary G.©