Well this is my first attempt at writing a poem that I wrote this afternoon as a song, I would love to hear feedback in all honesty, Ive even been in tears as I read it over...thanks everyone...
**May be triggering.......


SHADOWS OF NIGHT


Alone in the night they cry out in fear
Ashamed and abused they hide to disappear,
A living hell that binds them and squeezes them tight
These are the children of the shadows of night.

Feel, do you feel pain for all children,
That's why we must fight
And stand up for their rights,
Feel, do you feel pain for all children,
We must release them and save them
From the shadows of night.

Bruised and alone to face so much abuse
Their throats are squeezed tight, as if in a noose,
Silenced from fear, the scars tell it all
No-where to run, no-one to call.

Feel, do you feel pain for all children,
That's why we must fight
And stand up for their rights,
Feel, do you feel pain for all children,
We must release them and save them
From the shadows of night.

Monsters who savagely rape for their pleasure
Taking the innocence away from our treasures,
Our children can't fight, so many do die
So many tears in our eyes, oh how we do cry.

Feel, do you feel pain for all children,
That's why we must fight
And stand up for their rights,
Feel, do you feel pain for all children
We must release them and save them
From the shadows of night.


Shackled and bound their minds block it away
To try and escape the torturous days,
Their bodies are his, to do as he pleases
Spreads open their legs, as he soon releases.

Feel, do you feel pain for all children,
That's why we must fight
And stand up for their rights,
Feel, do you feel pain for all children,
We must release them and save them
From the shadows of night.

We can't sweep it away or pretend it's not there
Must open our eyes, and show them we care,
Children need to be loved, safe and protected
With God's help we have all been selected.

Feel, do you feel pain for all children,
That's why we must fight
And stand up for their rights,
Feel, do you feel pain for all children,
We must release them and save them
From the shadows of night.

Alone in the night they cry out in fear
Ashamed and abused, they hide to disappear,
A living hell that binds them and squeezes them tight
These are the children of the shadows of night.

Feel, do you feel pain for all children
That's why we must fight
And stand up for their rights
Feel, do you feel pain for all children,
We must release them and save them
From the shadows of night.

Written by Mary Graziano
June 6, 2012

MY SHAME MY BLAME

Cramped inside myself, I hide

Like a cocoon that's wrapped up tight,

Filthy words that speak to me

My mind, it just can't fight.

Hideous creatures grab hold, abuse

Eyes peering back at me,

I hear my little self scream out

Please help, please set me free.

Over-powered, I'm trapped, I can't escape

Can't reach out to set her free,

They make me watch, I cry in shame

Of these images I don't want to see.

Scoffing, they laugh at my defeat

As the memories of my little self unwind

Too young to face the wrong they did

Can't cope, she floats from my mind.

To escape her cocoon, as a butterfly

To flee the wrath at hand,

Fly high above the clouds so white

Viewing mountains that are so grand.

But her glimpse of happiness erodes away

As reality strikes back and wins,

It takes her back to the abusers at hand

As they take her, her mind does spin.

I need to reach my little self

To free her from this hell

But all I see is their dirty deeds

She's rigid, caught under their spell.

I bare the scars that I carry still

So much shame is what I see,

I feel I'm to blame for my little self

Because I just can't set her free.

So she crawls back into that cocoon so tight

Wondering when that day will be,

I just don't have an answer for her

There is no guarantee.

Written by Mary Graziano

June 2, 2012

I wrote this poem because I have so many feelings of blame still for myself that I must heal from. The shame I felt and still feel to this day still haunt me. I blame myself for not being able to free my little self from all the hurt and abuse she suffered when she was suppose to have been loved and protected.

DAMAGED

Did my mother 
Really love me

When she whacked 
Me hard that day,

My knees were scraped
 And bleeding

No, “I'm sorry,”
 Did she say.

She'd shake me hard
 And tell me

How stupid and
 Dumb I was

I'd cringe but
 I believed it

And would often
 Wonder why.

She'd lock me outside
 in the winter time,

I didn't know
 Where to go,

So I'd just cry and 
Stay out in the backyard

Hours freezing 
Out in the snow.

Some kids had
 Birthday parties

I never 
Remembered one,

No birthday cake
 To share, so sad

It would have 
Been so much fun.

“I love you” is
 So hard for me

To even say today,

I never heard
 It growing up

Why did it happen
To me this way.

My dad would 
Take me fishing

And that was 
So much fun,

But he still found 
Time to abuse me

I was scared, 
No-where to run.

I wished I felt
 Some anger

So I could have 
Screamed at him, 

But I didn't have 
It in me to say

You're a bastard, go to hell!!!

As I write my inner 
Thoughts and words,

I feel sorry for 
What I have said,

But I need to 
Express my feelings

Or they will explode
 Right in my head.

There's so many things
 I need to say

To both you my
 Mom and dad,

But now it's to late
 To tell you

That I wasn't
 Really bad.

Mom, I know 
I haven't visited

Your grave site
 Much this year,

I feel
 So very guilty

Too many memories
 Are what I fear.

Dad I'm sorry
 I have yet to come

To your grave 
Since you have died,

But you were
 My abuser

And my question 
That I ask is WHY.

Why did you hurt
 My little self

She cared, love 
Is what she did give,

Now she's lost,
 I can't reach out to her

You've drained
 Her will to live.

She sits and cries 
In loneliness

No future 
Does she see,

I just can't forgive 
You for what you did

You damaged 
That child in me.

 Mary Graziano ©

June 3, 2012

These words that I wrote was my inner child crying out wanting answers to why she and other children like her endured so much pain growing up. The emptiness she feels inside crushes her very soul, and my adult self is crushed beyond belief because I can't reach out and hug and tell her everything is going to be ok. Abuse of any kind is so very damaging to little children, and is so hard to repair, and as adults we feel their hurt and I think the only way to be a survivor is to be able to save them and tell them that they are safe now and can be free from the heartache that they feel inside.

THE OBJECT ON THE WALL

I remember oh so vivid

But how, I was maybe two,

Standing in my crib that day

Frightful tears, what could I do.

I stared and stared so blankly

At the object on the wall,

Why was I afraid to look

I curled up into a ball.

But when my eyes did open wide

The object was still there,

Again the tears were spewing out

Too much, too much to bare.

A bed stood close right by my crib

But blackness is all I see,

Then there I am lying on the bed

And a man lying next to me.

There is nothing else I remember

Just that little tot so small,

Caught up in a web so tightly

With that cigar shape on the wall.

That shape! That shape!

It haunts me still, right to this very day

Why did I see it on the wall

What's the significance, my mind is frayed.

I need to help my “Inner Child”

And tell her that she is safe,

But it tears me apart to see her

My crying little waif.

My mind has blocked parts of this memory

It crushes my very soul,

I need to know what happened

It scares me it's taking its tole.

When will my inner child be safe

And fly high on an eagle's wing,

Where laughter fills her heart and soul

And her voice oh how she will sing.

This chapter is not yet over

The pieces all need to fit in,

So calmness can come to my inner child

And the bad memories will never win.

Written by Mary Graziano

May 5, 2012