I have a wonderful friend who is one courageous lady. Patricia Mcknight.  Trish as she is called by her many friends on Facebook, is a survivor.  One who has survived horrendous abuse.  I admire her tremendously.  She is an Advocate,Author,Speaker,blogger, blogtalk radio show host for Butterfly Dreams Abuse Recovery Talk Radio.  Here anyone can join in, also bringing in advocates, organizations and foundations, victims and survivors of abuse/violence, bullying, trafficking etc.  Sharing articles, blogs, books recovery and any other way to help victims and survivors feel they are not alone in this battle. 

Trish has entered a competition that would make her "Author of the Year" on Marsocial.

 Please follow the please follow this link and use the hashtag #marsocial and share, share, share, each share gives her points to move up in the competition.

"We all have courage, sometimes it is hidden, Patricia Mcknight had that courage." 

Trish, has done so much for so many, has written her 
memoir MY JUSTICE where as a little girl of 5 went from being a happy, joyful spirited little girl with "Dancing Blue Eyes" as I call those beautiful eyes, to one who as she entered her front door and saw a figure of a man sitting in a chair, and as he turned around, all she saw was evil, the hairs on the back of her neck stood up.  This was the beginning to the horror that little Trecia Ann was a prisoner to for so many years.  No one in her town would do anything to help her even though they knew what happened. 

Trish deserves to win this competition, for all she has done for so many, Share the link where ever you use social media as many times as you can as the contest ends in January, so we have lots of time to get Trish the points she needs to get to the top. Thank you everyone. 

Mary Graziano's review Oct 23, 13  ·  edit
5 of 5 stars
Read in September, 2013

MY JUSTICE
"We all have courage sometimes it is hidden, Patricia A Mcknight had that courage."
By Mary Graziano

Tricia Ann a five year old beautiful child with a smile that would fill a room with sweetness. Eyes so blue, so bright that showed love and happiness, those "Dancing Blue Eyes" that I have called her. How they danced with excitement when she was with her dad, and her grandma.

Powerful, startling, Patricia Mcknight tells it like it is, in words that send chills throughout your body. She leaves you with not just a glimpse into her world, but into her life, a life of hell right after she went home from spending a day and night at Grandma's, who made her feel safe, the last time she would ever feel safe for many years to come.

Opening the front door to her house, what she sees is the figure of a man, sitting in a chair. Mother tells little Tricia Ann, "this is going to be your new daddy." Tricia Ann only saw evil, sending the reader into panic wondering what evil this monster was capable of!!!

As you read through the chapters, you are left with a feeling of disgust, tears filling your eyes, running down your cheeks, so much sadness, making your heart pain to think that a child of 5 was subjected to so much abuse, so horrendous that it was hard to believe someone could be so inhuman, like " the devil himself"!!!

Each chapter leaves you in disbelief as you follow little Tricia Ann, day after day, week after week,
month after month, and year after year, living something that most of us would never ever experience. Follow Tricia throughout her different ages, as the innocence of a little child changes, becoming filthy, and sores oozing from her skin, taking away her self worth, tearing at her heart, as her own mother ignored her, ignored her sores, her hygiene.

Shunned by everyone, by her own mother, who knew what her step-father was doing to Tricia, but did nothing to stop it, no love given to a little girl who needed it more now than ever.

As you read through Patricia A. Mcknight's memoir, "My Justice," it is not just a book, but the truth into the life abuse, sadistic hurt, never to be able to go back to the way she once was, a fun loving little girl. Read, take in; learn how abuse turns a life inside out, never to be the same again. How you as the reader can do something, use your voice, don't turn away, and don't pretend that you didn't hear, or see something happen. This is your cue; to reach out to anyone you may know or see being abused, especially an innocent child. Make this a learning tool that will reach the depths of your soul to teach you not to judge the victim, as the town where Tricia Ann lived did just that.

Tricia Ann lived in a "house of horrors," day after day. As an adult she still suffered abuse by the hands of her husbands, being left for dead many times, as her own children would witness the beatings that Patricia endured. No-one ever came to her rescue; no-one ever took her to safety. Reading about Patricia teaches you that abuse becomes a trend, something that is hard for anyone to break away from after only knowing this for their whole life.
"My Justice" is the chilling life of an abused beautiful little girl with "dancing blue eye," that for so long danced no more. You be the judge and see if they EVER dance again.

My Impact Statement to My Mother:

You adopted me at the age of 6 months. Mom you were so cruel, how could you slap a 6 month old baby hard across the face and leave your hand print on my face because you had to show me who was boss? I WAS A BABY FOR F**K SAKE. You would tell this story over and over to me and my kids when they were teens, and you laughed about it. All because I wouldn't open my mouth when I saw the spoon coming? You said you made the food every meal, and every meal I would do this. Did you ever think that there may have been a reason for this? I was in foster homes since birth, who knew what may have happened. But after that slap you said I opened my mouth from that day forward. Wow, wonder why?

Mom I guess you had all the answers didn't you? But did you know what your husband and cousin were doing to me? The many nights after you went to bed, how he came into my room and fondled me all over. He should have been in your bed doing that to YOU NOT ME!!!! So many things you didn't know Mom...How he told me one night to come into my room, and pull my pants down, Ii was a teen then, but very gullible, and did as I was told. He then said that he wanted to make sure no boy had touched me inside, so he put his fingers deep inside me, moving them around, I HATED EVERY MINUTE OF IT, IT HURT SO BAD.. Did I tell you? NO!!!! BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE ME. 

And you!!! Why couldn't you ever say you loved me? Why couldn't you ever hug me? To this day I don't ever remember a hug from you, an I love you. Nothing. And yet you said I was special because you adopted me. What a joke that was. You were the dictator, and I had to obey like a robot. Controlled me by what clothes I wore to school, how long my dress had to be when all the other girls had short skirts, mini skirts back then, but no I had to have them down below my knees. Do you know how much that hurt me inside, knowing others were making fun of me?

Were you ever proud of me? I doubt it, you never came to my high school graduation, I went with my best friend and her parents. Getting my diploma was so important to me because I wasn't very smart in school and it took me 2 extra years to finish high school, is that why you both didn't come? 

You never let me express my opinions about ANYTHING, If I tried I got hit, why? were you afraid I might say something that you wouldn't like? No Mom Ii wouldn't do that, I'm not like you in anyway. I hurt deep inside, because you didn't care, or take the time with me to show me you cared. WHAT DID I DO TO EVER DESERVE THIS SHIT? WHY? why would you be so mean when I was only 3 and woke up and had an accident in my panties. You told your cousin that you were going to teach me a lesson, you took my panties off and rubbed poop in my face, and he asked if you were going to clean it up and you said no, so he did. I don't remember this, I guess my mind has blocked it out, but when you told and my kids this story, you laughed, and thought it was funny again. YOU ENJOYED TELLING THESE THINGS TO ME, WHY??? What did I ever do that was so wrong? 

All I ever wanted were hugs from you and hearing the words I Love you, but Mom I will never hear them now because you have been dead 7 years. Who helped to look after you when you were so sick? I never complained once, I did it because I did care, and hated seeing you suffer, even then you never said thank you. Was it so hard to do??? I sit here in tears writing this statement to you, because I just wanted to feel loved by you and by dad, but it never happened. I will never know whether you loved me or not, NEVER, and that hurts inside, you killed my spirit when I was young, but now, I have said what needed to be said, You took my voice away never allowing me to use it, but guess what, IM USING IT NOW, USING IT TO TELL YOU HOW I FEEL, USING IT TO HELP OTHER KIDS WHO ARE BEING ABUSED, AND HOPING I CAN SET THEM FREE. You have no control over me anymore mom, I have control now, and guess what, even though I am in tears, it feels good, to be ME!!!!!!

WHAT IS COURAGE

By Mary E Graziano on Sunday, May 12, 2013 at 7:49pm

WHAT IS COURAGE?

Being kind to yourself first, then to others, let go of that person that once was.  BE WHO YOU ARE NOW!!!  Moving toward becoming a survivor.   Become brave within yourself, and then you can find  that confidence.  Begin to trust yourself, trust who you really are….

Your world will finally open up to you in many ways you never knew existed.

Embrace it, see it, feel it.  All the right answers are not always there for us when we really need it the most. We are often afraid to experiene something we all hate. Fear!!!

Standing up for yourself is facing your fears.  Don’t wait for someone to come along and give you permission to live your life, live it your way…

Don't let others push you around, you are your own person, and need to remember that.  Fear makes us want to run away from a situation, and sometimes for safety reasons, we need to run.  But we often stay locked up in the past, fear of moving on, to the unknown.  The past is where our abuser lived, and  for many, still lives inside our heads, keeping a person  prisoner of the past, not knowing how to turn the situation around and say "GO TO HELL, I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU ANYMORE."  Instead they let the abuse still continue to win inside of themselves, thinking that they can't heal, they are always going to be under the "spell" of their abuser.  But it doesn't  have to be that way.  This is where courage comes into play.

Courage doesn't come from outside, it comes from within, but sometimes you just haven’t realized it, you have to learn to find it again.  It takes Courage to leave the past behind, to close that door, lock it and walk away to live in the present, where you belong.  This is where your life can change for the better.  You don't belong in that past anymore, yes it was horrific, immensely broke you, took away your spirit, your self worth, everything about you, and even your will to live at times.  But it doesn't mean you have to keep living there.  

So find that Courage, it is there, buried deep within.  Grab hold, take charge of yourself and your Courage will come forward to help you become who you really are, releasing you from the clutches of the past, to live in the now, and to enjoy your future the way it should be and to become 

The real you ~ 

By Mary Graziano ©

re-edited  Aug. 29, 2013

Nightmares

By Mary E Graziano on Saturday, December 15, 2012 at 6:15pm

NIGHTMARES

As survivors of childhood abuse, we often think that we are now free from our nightmares.  How so very wrong this is.  WE can go along for a long time and think that we are "nightmare  free", then all of a sudden, we go to bed, fall asleep and it starts  all over again.  It feels so wrong, so crippling.  We are caught by the demons of the night.  Abusing us all over again, we can't struggle to free ourselves, we are in it for the duration of the horrible nightmare, we can't escape, the demons have won.

     These nightmares are so very real, grabbing hold of our very being our very soul, reliving the past, the abuser again sabotaged our lives.  When we awake, we are frightened, we are feeling trapped again crying out for help, to be rid of the demons that destroyed us once before and are now trying to destroy us again,
little by little, piece by piece.

     I had these nightmares two nights in a row.  Last night I chose to stay awake because I was afraid of the consequences of what might happen.  I didn't want to face the demons of the night again and couldn't let them win again.  

     Why do we let them control us?  Even in our sleep?  We need to take a deep look inside ourselves, and help ourselves to realize that "it's just a nightmare, it can't hurt us."  Oh how many times I have said that to a victim and survivor.  We can't let the demons control our lives day in and day out.

     Looking deep into myself, I need to tell myself I am not that little girl any more, he can't control me now.  That little girl is all grown up.  Tell my inner child that we are now one, that together we are stronger than the demons, that we have the say as to who controls our body, our mind.  It is up to us.  By doing this we can become strong, we will see that the demons can't hurt us any more.  I was devastated that I had these nightmares.  I didn't think as a survivor that I would have these nightmares again and again, that they were gone never to return.  

     Even as a survivor we are still healing, still climbing to the top of that mountain.  We will struggle with different aspects of our abuse, but we have the control now, not the demons that try and overtake our nights.  I realize now how wrong I  was, to put myself down, that I wasn't strong enough to face these nightmares, but I am strong enough, I have the control, just didn't see it.  At the time my inner self and I are one.  Together we can stand tall, we have the control.

written by Mary Graziano
Sept. 2012

MY INNER CHILD IS ALIVE

My inner child

Is alive,

So happy

Within her heart

To be able to

Play like a

Little child should

Finally to be herself.

Shielded away

In the darkness

Where she felt

It was safe to be,

Lonely, she wished

For just a peek

Into a world

Of a normal child.

 Now she

Has found

The light, she

Came out to

Play with joy,

Laughing, singing,

Dancing, something

Never done before.

My heart can

Feel the joy inside,

The darkness

Now gone away,

The heaviness that

Held my inner child

Now is light

I can feel her joy.

Time erases

The ugliness inside

I think that

Is what she felt,

Finally secure

Within herself

That little peek

Opened up her world.

Mary Graziano©

November 13, 2013

OCTOBER IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH

RECOILING IN FEAR

The children

Recoil in fear

Hearing their mother

Scream, STOP!!!

But the terror

Continues,

So much pain

Is felt

Silently

The children

 Cry.

Peering out

From around

The corner

They see their mother

Thrown hard

To the floor,

A fist rose

With words that

Hurt, they

Cover their ears.

Running.

They open

The closet

Hiding quickly inside,

The routine they

Know all too well,

The look

They saw

In the eyes

Of the monster

Who beat her

Piercing eyes

So much hate

They could see.

Clinging tightly

To each other

Much fear do

They have

Praying to God

To keep their

Mother safe,

To protect them

To make the

Monster disappear.

Domestic Violence affects so many little children.  They grow up in this atmosphere and sometimes become abusers themselves.  We must help end the cycle of abuse that tears families apart, sends them into a spiral of emotions.  They may not be able to use their voices; they need us to help them escape the abuse.  No parent would want their child to experience abuse of any kind.  The parent themselves are afraid to leave an abuser, often because he/she has said I will kill you and the children if you ever leave.  But we can’t let them live in the torture, the fear they have everyday of their lives.  The children suffer so many emotional traumas, and it will show in their school work, they may become bullies themselves.

We need to be vigilant.   If you hear or see something that doesn't feel right

please don’t be afraid to pick up that phone and dial 911. If it is nothing, when the police go and investigate, that’s great.  But if they do go and someone is hurt, then you just may have saved a life.

Mary Graziano ©

October 5, 2013

Michal Madison's artwork is phenomenal

and I thank her for letting me use it with

my poetry.  Visit Michal's page, and you will 

see what I mean.  Her artwork is also for sale

www.michalmadisonart.com

THE FORGOTTEN CHILDREN

We need to

Be the voices
Of children everywhere,
Alone, abandoned,

With bruises
It seems that 

No-one cares.

Their abusers

Keep them silent
With threats,

Their bodies shake,
Feelings kept

Inside themselves
Their smiles,

They always fake.

Words that hurt

So deeply
Destroys their

Self-esteem,
Shame they feel

Inside themselves
In their minds

Is where they scream.

We are the

FORGOTTEN CHILDREN

Please Stand Up

And fight for us

Help take away

The monsters from hell

Who abuse

Us in every way.

Secrets so deep

Never to be told
They lived it

Every day,
These are the

FORGOTTEN CHILDREN

 Scream out

Please shout and pray.

Pray that we

Can save them
From a life of

Horrendous abuse,
To set them free

And guide them
It's up to us,

There's no excuse.

Each day one child

Will die alone
From their wounds

Inside and out,
Scars so deep,

With bodies broke
From their abuse,

There is no doubt.

We are the

FORGOTTEN CHILDREN

Please Stand Up

And fight for us

Help take away

The monsters from hell

Who abuse

Us in everywhere.

  

Remember all

Children everywhere
Protection is

What they need,
Broken, alone

And frightened
From the abusers

Dirty deeds.

                                   I write these words,

For all children small
And that little

Girl in me,
Silenced then,

But not any more
I will keep shouting

To help set them free.

We are the

FORGOTTEN CHILDREN

Please Stand Up

And fight for us

Help take away

The monsters from hell

Who abuse

Us in everyway.

Mary Graziano ©
Edited November 12, 2013

Artwork by Michal Madison

www.michalmadisonart.com

Bullying

7 TIPS TO STOP BULLYING

It’s roughly three months into the school year. By now, friendships have been established and the same groups of kids can be seen hanging out day-after-day with each other. According to noted bullying prevention expert Brooks Gibbs, it’s about this time in the school year when we typically start to hear more about bullying. That’s because, he says, the power structure within the student body is becoming more pronounced – and the bullies have had time to, in a sense, mark their prey.

Gibbs is a youth crisis counselor and bullying prevention expert who is the national spokesman for the Office Depot Foundation’s “Be The Difference. Speak Up Against Bullying!” Program. He’s on a national speaking tour holding school assemblies for middle school students on how to put a stop to bullying. The program was made possible with the support of Office Depot and the phenomenally popular band One Direction.

His tips for anyone who finds themselves the victim of a bully:

1. Refuse to get mad – Disable the anger button in your brain and show the bully he can try all he wants, but he won’t get you mad. The natural response is to get angry, but you can decide not to.

2. Treat everything as the words of your best friends – This sounds crazy but it works. No matter how nasty or angry people can be, tell yourself the only reason they are talking this way is because they love you, care about you and want to help you. It doesn’t mean you have to treat them as if they are right or do whatever they tell you.

3. Don’t be afraid of bullies – Our bullies will never stop bullying us if we continue to be afraid of them. Even if they are bigger and stronger than you, most of them are not the evil villains you have been imagining them to be. (if they have a history of violent behavior, they are criminals or have other issues and stay away from them).

4. Don’t attack bullies – If we attack bullies, even if they attacked us first, we are letting them know we consider them enemies. So we can expect them to treat us like enemies.

5. Don’t defend yourself – The harder we defend ourselves, the bigger we lose, and the bully will continue attacking to force us into the losing defensive position.

6. Don’t tell on bullies – Despite what most people say, telling on bullies, except under rare circumstances, is the worst thing you can do. It’s the best way to make the bullies despise you. The bully will respect you more if you can work out the problem with him or her on your own.

7. Show you are hurt, not angry – If you show the bully anger, he or she will respond with anger. Show the bully you are hurt and he or she is more likely to apologize and avoid hurting you again.

Brooks Gibbs, national spokesman for the Office Depot Foundation’s “Be The Difference. Speak Up Against Bullying!” Program.

www.officedepotfoundation.org/be_the_difference.asp

www.brooksgibbs.com